I Wish You Were Here Always
by dolphina23
Summary: Summary: Sasuke takes a huge risk in following his brother into the service, and Naruto, unable to let him go it alone, follows. Both are assigned to the same unit but in different squads. But when Sasuke becomes injured on a mission, Naruto breaks protocol to find him. And as a result, Sasuke is sent home on a permanent medical discharge . . . full summary inside
1. Prologue

**Summary: **Sasuke takes a huge risk in following his brother into the service, and Naruto, unable to let him go it alone, follows. Both are assigned to the same unit but in different squads. But when Sasuke becomes injured on a mission, Naruto breaks protocol to find him. And as a result, Sasuke is sent home on a permanent medical discharge while Naruto has been forced to complete a second tour right after his first. Will he survive? Or will Sasuke be forced to endure every Christmas, every birthday, alone?

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing except the rights to my own original work, which sadly is not Naruto.

**A/N:** Those of you that know my stuff, I apologize for being away so long. I also apologize for starting a new story when I still have two unfinished. I shall continue them, never fear. Also, there is man sex, or at least a man on man relationship. Violence can be assured, and much angst, probably on Sasuke's part, who knows. I have been researching a lot about finance, government, and war lately. Blame my Ethics professor if you must. However, I do warn you.

**I repeat, warning:** This story contains alternate views on war, and especially the war the U.S. is currently waging in Iraq. If this topic is sensitive to any of you, pleas do not read as I will not be reading any review that slams the quality of my writing based on the fact that you do not agree with me. However, if you wish to engage in a healthy debate, send me a PM, I may just change your mind. And it starts . . .

**I Wish You Were Here Always**

**Prologue**

When I was little, my father once bought me soldier. No, not a real one. This one was die-cast metal, but large, like an action figure. He had all the trappings of a Marine: black shirt, black and gray fatigue pants, shiny boots, and a gun. An AK-47 assault rifle replica. I loved it. Carried it around everywhere I went, even to school. One day my older brother, probably thinking it would be funny, hid my soldier in the dryer. Well, he didn't melt, just lost an arm. But, when I brought him to my father, asking him to fix it, he said something that has always stayed with me.

"There are some things that no one can fix."

I wailed then and my father caught me up in his arms until I couldn't cry anymore. Hiccuping through the last of it, I asked my father if it hurt and my father said something else that has stayed with me, even to today.

"It can't hurt him, Sasuke. He doesn't know anything is different. He's not alive."

That was the first day in my short life that I began to understand what it meant to be human.

Usual warnings apply. Also, same warnings from the prologue, if you did not catch them, go read so you understand the nature of the work ahead.

Un-beta'ed and Unedited but I am confident there shouldn't be too many grammatical errors. If you find any, please let me know so I can fix them. I really just wanted to get this up since it's the first thing I've written in literally two years.

**Chapter 1**

**Trail of Tears**

Bright morning sunlight filtered through a bank of pine trees and fog rippled through the entire area surrounding Seattle. Birds sang woefully in the shrub and a lone deer stepped cautiously into a clearing. A rather large cabin sat almost in the middle, flanked by oak and pine. Smoke drifted lazily into the air from the stone chimney. The sound of a car droned along the road leading to the cabin's entrance and a dusty mailbox looked as if it resented the letters nearly spilling out of the front.

Another sound broke the almost sacrosanct quietude, a screen door creaking open and heavy booted feet on the front steps. A man with dark hair, almost blue it was so black, and trained out behind his head in a lift that on any other person would have looked simply buffoonish made his way gingerly down the dirt path to the overflowing mailbox, cursing under his breath. His slender, well-built frame moved with an ease that spoke of physical labor, or at least a familiarity with it. Lifting a hand to his face to block the bright sun, he frowned, his coal dark eyes and pale skin nearly gleaming despite the encroaching fog.

Sighing, he reached into the box and gathered all the mail, some of it nearly slipping through his slender fingers. Grumbling, he turned to walk back inside at the same time as another, much louder sound broke the copious spell on his little patch of earth. Laughter, raucous and deep, scratchy and low. The man's shoulders seemed to deflate and a comfortable air descended on him. He smiled slightly as he began to climb the steps, only to blink wide in surprise as the door banged open revealing a tanned, blond haired youth. Stocky and broad-shouldered, the other man hummed and rocked on the balls of his feet as he stretched his arms over his head. This was nothing new, to be sure, but the fact that he was nearly naked, dressed in only a tight pair of bikini swim trunks, gave him pause. He gaped, then bared his teeth.

"Naruto, what the hell are you doing?" he asked.

The blond man smiled playfully, looking for all the world like a happy dog who had found a playmate. He practically skipped off the steps and pivoted to swing an arm around his roommate's shoulders, for that was their current situation much as it irked Sasuke.

"Sasuke," Naruto purred huskily, voice scratchy from sleep, hair tousled in permanent spiky strands that fell everywhere on top of his head. "It's the perfect morning for a swim!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes at Naruto but could not keep the light-hearted tone out of his voice, try as he might.

"You say that every morning," he rumbled, shifting to toss the arm off his shoulders. The burn they left was something Sasuke had long ago decided to ignore. They had known each other since grade school, but it was Naruto who had kept the bond enduring, through high school fights and the rift that college had rent, through Sasuke's voracious anger after his parents had been killed and Naruto's depression. They had been through more than most married couples, certainly more than most friends, which was what Naruto loudly proclaimed they were every time anyone dared to insinuate otherwise.

Remarkably, they ha both made though college while serving in the Marine Reserves without ever having been called up. This accounted for both their physics, supple muscle born from hours of training for all kinds of dangerous situations from bombings, to rapid, hellacious gunfire, to orders screamed at them by a man Sasuke swore was mentally imbalanced. His lurid green jumpsuit, definitely not Marine issue, and orange leg warmers just added to his assumption.

Realizing how much his arms were shaking from the weight and awkward positioning of the mail, Sasuke shrugged and stepped carefully into the house while Naruto continued to strech his arms in front of him, crossing each over his chest and rippling the muscles in his back until Sasuke had to force his eyes away. It was true that the current President had lifted the ban on homosexuals joining the military, and had rescinded the inequitable 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' fiasco passed by his predecessor, but that did not mean Sasuke had to reveal anything of what he felt for his roommate. He feared more than anything what Naruto would do if he did. Not violence, no. That Sasuke had been trained to handle ever since his brother had joined the Army ten years ago. Thinking of Itachi cleared his mind a little and Sasuke was once again able to focus on the mail.

After clearing out the pound or so of junk mail and advertisements for local food stores, Sasuke began sifting through the rest to portion out what was his, what was Naruto's, and what belonged to the house. They had moved in together not long after college, mostly because Sasuke had been so worried about Naruto's health. Having lost his parents when he was a baby, he'd partially been raised by foster parents until the pervert had found him. But that man had died when Naruto was fifteen, and he had not taken it well. Sasuke shuddered.

He still did not understand how Naruto could have introduced him to his grandfather in such a way. Sasuke had never actually learned his real name, come to think of it. But it rankled his skin until it felt clammy and cold, the way Naruto behaved and spoke whenever the pervert was mentioned. He had never gained the courage to ask his friend what exactly the nickname was for, whether it was truly the 'normal' type of pervert, whatever that meant, as Naruto claimed, or something else had been going on. Sasuke did know that Naruto had been taken in by a teacher of theirs from grade school. Her knew this because Kakashi, the man in question, had taken Sasuke on board when he was eight, the very week his parents had been murdered. Itachi had been overseas for a stint, in Germany. When he had finally been notified and given hardship leave to return home, Sasuke had already been in the throws of rebellion, fighting anyone and anything he could.

The sound of paper snicking was almost a comfort to his beleaguered as he continued to leisurely peruse the mail, bills, letters from friends and family who had not yet found the joys of e-mail and texting, a postcard from Naruto's friend Ino, which made Sasuke frown. He would not say he was jealous. The fact that Ino and Naruto had dated all through high school did not bother him. Naruto was free to see whomever he wished. Sasuke had never given him the slightest idea of his feelings, after all.

A thick, light yellow envelope with printed writing halted Sasuke from his musings. It was addressed to him and the printed seal at the top corner sucked the breath he had inhaled right out of him. It was true he had joined in order to serve, but he had been quite happy to be left out of a war he had known to be immoral and against every code, from his country's own declarations to that of the Geneva Convention the U.S. had helped create, to the U.N. Charter. Even when the U.S. had asked, and had been denied, for approval by the U.N., Sasuke had not been able to relax. But that all flew from him on a breeze scented with honeysuckle and pine, Naruto's delighted cries and the sounds of water splashing against the bank in the near distance. He did not want to do this.

Slowly, Sasuke slid a thumb under the flap and prized it open, choosing to ignore the faint shake of his fingers as he did so. Maybe it was a response to his appeal for discharge, Sasuke thought desperately.

As he unfolded the single sheet of paper, Sasuke already knew what he would find. Reading through it, he frowned and sighed, wondering how exactly he was going to tell Naruto. His brother would worry too, but he would be able to understand that there was a duty to be performed when joining the military, an outspoken rule that even when you objected on moral grounds, you would still be forced to serve. Naruto had an ideal in his head about military service, one that most of the higher-ups, as he called them, did not always share. To him, war was only necessary when all else had failed, and even then, only to protect your homeland from invasion. The rest was meant for helping out devastated areas of the country, or inside Allied territories.

Closing his eyes, he hummed as he fought with himself over when to reveal it. It was Naruto's birthday today. October was colder this year than the last, but the bright sun had burned off some of the fog from early morning. The ticking of Naruto's coo-coo clock, a large hunk of ornately carved walnut that had come from his mother's family, calmed Sasuke's breathing. He measured them out to the rhythm of the clock until he heard the slap of bare feet on the hard-packed earth of the front walk. Opening his eyes, Sasuke drew in a deep breath and slip the letter back into the envelope, pushing it under the pile of bills. Naruto never looked at those. He preferred to let Sasuke handle everything, handing over his half of the money whenever Sasuke asked for it.

"Yo, Sasuke!" Naruto called as he bounde dinto the kitchen, dripping cold water all over the clean tile floor. He was shivering slightly and their were goosebumps dotting his skin. Sasuke smirked, suddenly inspired.

"Yo, Naruto," he replied calmly. Stalking towards him with heavy footsteps, he reached out with near inhuman speed and tweaked one of Naruto's nipples roughly. Naruto's mouth grew wide and round, just like his perfectly blue eyes.

Naruto gaped, his mouth opening and closing once, twice, then . . .

"What the hell was that for, you bastard!" he almost squeaked. Sasuke laughed throatily, the hidden letter momentarily forgotten.

"It's like a birthday punch, but better," Sasuke commented, as he shrugged his shoulders, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth, arms open wide.

"A what?" Naruto groused, nonplussed, eyes narrowed in suspicion. He knew it was something he was probably in the dark about thanks largely to his stunted upbringing. But Sasuke could not help himself.

"Normally," he explained as he advanced on Naruto again, dancing his way around the table after him, "one receives birthday punches, usually on the arm, to the count of how many years old they are . . ."

Sasuke tuned his voice in such a way as to let Naruto know he was not done, and the look on his face, the utter astonishment as he was backed into the dining cabinet that held all their good plates, was enough to make Sasuke chuckle quietly.

He reached over again, just as silent and quick as before, and tweaked the other nipple. Naruto cried out, a guttural sound that Sasuke committed to memory, just in case the opportunity to hear it again never arose.

"Plus one," he finished as he let loose another laugh, long and loud one this time. Naruto was glaring at him with his bottom lip jutting out and a wounded puppy look in his eyes.

"Come on, birthday boy," Sasuke relented, stepping away from him. "Time to go visit your fans."

"What the hell are you talking about, you candy ass son of a bitch," Naruto accused.

Sasuke sucked on his teeth and bit the inside of his cheek to keep from bursting out laughing again. Naruto had the worst mouth he had ever heard. But it was just too funny when he tried to use it on Sasuke. It did not phase him in the slightest as Naruto stalked over to him and pushed him around to stand flush against the wall, next to the dining cabinet, dishes rattling loudly in protest. The heat from Naruto's skin, Sasuke swore he was some kind of reptile he always ran so hot, pulsed out onto his clothes. Breathing in a musky scent, a touch of Irish Spring from Naruto's late night shower, and mint, Sasuke smiled with his teeth this time.

"I'm taking you to your surprise party, dumbass. Unless you want me to snatch up all your presents and the huge cake Choji's Dad made," he answered.

He thoroughly enjoyed watching Naruto's mouth hang open for the third time that morning. It was so wide he could probably fit his whole fist in. That thought was dangerous though, so Sasuke clamped a tight hold on it until his mind was again the calm it usually maintained. Cuffing Sasuke roughly alongside his head, Naruto grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like 'I wasn't expecting anything'. But Sasuke did not miss the almost jaunt to his walk as his roommate made his way to the stairs, the second level of the cabin holding a sort of loft area that lead into a hallway where the bedrooms and lone bathroom resided. It was not often that so many of them could gather together, but their friends, and what little family they had left, always tried to share each of their birthdays with them, but especially Naruto's.

He had been quite alone as a child, bullied and taunted for his triple scarred cheeks and loud, often clownish behavior. It hadn't done him any good in school either, something he had told Sasuke he regretted once they hit college. Never one to give up, though, Sasuke helped tutor Naruto to excellent grades, and the rest as they say, is history. Finally hearing the shower groan as it kicked in, Sasuke turned around to face the table and sighed. He would not be telling Naruto tonight. But tomorrow he had to report to his commanding officer on base and inform him of the details of his next assignment, if the man hadn't been told already.

There were plans to make, things to pack, new uniforms to buy. All service members had to wear different colors when serving in active war abroad, the normal Marine blue fatigues replaced with black and gray. Sasuke didn't mind, he preferred darker coloring when you might need to resort to hiding in sparse brush for cover. This thought made him shudder again, and bemoan his ever being conned by his brother's exploits. Shaking himself out of his torpor, he jacked himself up from the wall and sauntered up the stairs, wishing he could be spending his last few hours of real freedom and peace enjoying the deluge of hot water Naruto was no doubt experiencing, preferably with him instead of alone. Not for the first time in his life, for as long as Sasuke had known Naruto, he questioned whether or not he had made the right decision all those years ago to return to this town, to Naruto, knowing that his feelings might never be understood let alone reciprocated.

As he made his way sedately toward his room, Sasuke hummed in frustration and pulled at an errant strand of blue-black hair. He would need to call his brother, and that would be best done while Naruto was out of earshot. There was no use in riling him up just before the big celebration. Sasuke would die before he ruined anything for Naruto, even if Naruto hated him for it. Breathing in another calming breath, he stabilized his core muscles and listened to the tinkling of the wind chimes set in his open window as the line on the other end of his cell began to ring.

Usual warnings apply. And same warnings from previous chapters.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the pic, not the characters, just the words in the story. Happy?

**Chapter 2**

**A River Runs Through It**

"Hello?" Itachi's voice sounded as deep and reassuring as always, even in a greeting. Sasuke felt more clam than with any of his breathing exercises.

"Hey, it's me."

"I know who it is, Sasuke. I have caller ID, I'm sure you are w=aware," Itachi's voice sounded amused as Sasuke shifted to press his head against the cool glass of his window, drawing his knees up onto the bed with him. HE frowned at the comment, then smirked.

"Well, yes, but you are old, big brother. And you haven't had that smart phone of yours for very long. I thought maybe you might need a manual just to answer it," he replied smugly.

This was met with a snort from his brother, who had always seemed to enjoy needling Sasuke. Sasuke had hated it when he was younger and now found he could answer on equal footing now that he had grown older, and wiser to his brother's dry humor.

"Really, Sasuke. I am only seven years older than you, not fifty. And you have yet to tell me why you called."

"Maybe I did and your senility kicked in and you forgot," suggested Sasuke, not willing to let go of the easy banter just yet. What he had to say would not sit well with Itachi despite his brother having served himself.

"Sasuke," Itachi warned, though it never had any bite to it. He had a way of saying his name that to anyone else appeared as though all he anted was to get his attention, but Sasuke knew him well; he'd been raised by Itachi since he was a child and that did not come without a certain understanding. Taking a deep breath, Sasuke launched into what he had to say with as much dignity as anyone in his rather prestigious family had ever possessed.

"I got a letter in the mail today," he began. Hearing his brother scoff, he hurried to continue before he found himself on the receiving end of more of Itachi's scathing wit.

"From the Secretary of the Navy." He knew that Itachi was well aware, despite being a different branch, who the head of the Marine Core was, and why he would send a letter.

"You've been given new orders." It was not a question. "Where?"

But Sasuke could tell from the change in the timbre of his voice that Itachi already knew.

"You know I'm not allowed to give you an exact location," Sasuke warned. He really didn't know why he was fighting it so much. Maybe if he told his brother, one of the few people who understood not just what it meant, but what it meant for Sasuke, then it would be all too real. Leaving the States, leaving Naruto. God, he had made such a mess of things, hadn't he?

"Sasuke, are you still there?" Itachi asked, louder than before. Sasuke called up a weak smirk but it died before he could find it in himself to retort. Blithely, he sighed and rubbed his forehead on the now warmed glass.

The smooth texture reminded him of the lake he could just see peaking out from a tall stand of pines, just inside the boundary of their property. Something like this would normally be unaffordable to someone with military pay, but Sasuke and Naruto had gone into OTC after college, to augment their pay scale, and money from both their families deaths had helped. It belonged solely to them, no mortgage to have to worry about while being chased by angry men with guns in a godforsaken sand pit. Sasuke sighed.

"You know where, Itachi," he said quietly. "You know what I have to do."

"If you mean that dirt pile between Syria and Iran, forget it," Itachi growled.

Sasuke smiled for real this time

"So, I take it you didn't like it?" Itachi had already been sent over, two tours. No injuries, just as Sasuke had expected. But the emotional toll (there was still something that lurked behind his brother's gaze) had worried him. And he knew that Itachi, having always been a bit . . . protective, would not be any different. In fact, Sasuke feared his big brother's intentions. It was true that Itachi could handle himself in any fight, large or small, but Sasuke had already done enough to hurt him in the past. He was speaking now, and Sasuke had missed it.

"What?"

"I knew you weren't listening," Itachi admonished. "I asked you if you had told Naruto yet."

Sasuke remained silent, which was answer enough.

"I didn't think so. Are you going to soon? When do you have to ship out?"

And now Sasuke thought he caught the first hint of worry, so deeply hidden perhaps only he would know it was there. He applauded his brother silently for not being up front about it. Itachi really did now him well, how much he would hate being fawned or fretted over. Whether he agreed with the reasons behind being there, he had been ordered to serve and if there was one thing he had learned from Naruto, it was that there were some things in life you had to just do. This was one of them.

"It's his birthday today. I'll wait till tomorrow, or maybe the day after." And now Sasuke was stalling, stalling for time, because there suddenly wasn't enough anymore.

"And when do you have to leave?" Itachi asked again.

"In two weeks," Sasuke replied, and then a heavy silence followed.

"I'll be by later, so save some time for me."

And with that Sasuke breathed out a breath he had no idea he'd been holding in. He knew his brother had flown in for the day from where he was currently stationed in Maryland, for the very celebration Sasuke was supposed to preparing for. But it would definitely help to have his brother nearby.

"We'll go shopping tomorrow morning and then you can relax."

Again Sasuke was grateful. Not having to worry about picking up supplies, the cotton black t-shirts he would need (polyester burned right into the skin instead of burning away) along with everything else he could pick up in a few hours with his brother tagging along, and that would mean he would have most of the day to figure out how to break the news. The rest of his friends would find out from Naruto most likely, he would never be able to keep something this important to himself for very long.

"It starts at two, yes?"

Sasuke nodded, then remembered he was on the phone.

"Yeah. And Itachi . . . " Sasuke found he had to swallow hard before continuing, which only gave Itachi an opening.

"Don't worry about it, little brother. You'll go, do your time, and be back before anyone has the chance to miss you," Itachi assured him, but Sasuke couldn't hear any smugness, just an empty lilt that made him uneasy.

"Okay," was all he could say for the moment. There would be time later to really talk. He knew that. He knew not everyone over there became injured or was killed, that the numbers seemed vastly inflated thanks largely to vast media coverage. He would be fine, but Naruto was the problem. That man was so reckless, Sasuke feared he would try something inanely stupid while he was away.

"I'll see you in a few hours, little brother. Wish Naruto a Happy birthday for me until I see him."

Sasuke frowned. "He's going to think you're being facetious."

"Well, you can spend the next few hours explaining to him what that menas, then can't you?" Itachi replied with a dry laugh. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Uh-huh, and you can field all his friends ridiculous conversations about the latest game or whatever it is they like to harass him about."

Itachi laughed again and signed off, leaving Sasuke to stare at the phone in his hand until he heard the sound of the water turn off in the bathroom. It had not felt like it had only been a few minutes. Swinging his legs down to the floor, he stood and took a deep, cleansing breath. Stretching his arms over his head, Sasuke shuffled his feet as he made his way to the closet. Having already showered (Naruto hated to rise early unless it was for work), he dressed quickly and turned his thoughts to what he was going to make Naruto for his Birthday breakfast, determined to not throw a pall over the day's festivities, no matter what.


	2. Chapter 1 Trail of Tears

Usual warnings apply. Also, same warnings from the prologue, if you did not catch them, go read so you understand the nature of the work ahead.

Un-beta'ed and Unedited but I am confident there shouldn't be too many grammatical errors. If you find any, please let me know so I can fix them. I really just wanted to get this up since it's the first thing I've written in literally two years.

**Chapter 1**

**Trail of Tears**

Bright morning sunlight filtered through a bank of pine trees and fog rippled through the entire area surrounding Seattle. Birds sang woefully in the shrub and a lone deer stepped cautiously into a clearing. A rather large cabin sat almost in the middle, flanked by oak and pine. Smoke drifted lazily into the air from the stone chimney. The sound of a car droned along the road leading to the cabin's entrance and a dusty mailbox looked as if it resented the letters nearly spilling out of the front.

Another sound broke the almost sacrosanct quietude, a screen door creaking open and heavy booted feet on the front steps. A man with dark hair, almost blue it was so black, and trained out behind his head in a lift that on any other person would have looked simply buffoonish made his way gingerly down the dirt path to the overflowing mailbox, cursing under his breath. His slender, well-built frame moved with an ease that spoke of physical labor, or at least a familiarity with it. Lifting a hand to his face to block the bright sun, he frowned, his coal dark eyes and pale skin nearly gleaming despite the encroaching fog.

Sighing, he reached into the box and gathered all the mail, some of it nearly slipping through his slender fingers. Grumbling, he turned to walk back inside at the same time as another, much louder sound broke the copious spell on his little patch of earth. Laughter, raucous and deep, scratchy and low. The man's shoulders seemed to deflate and a comfortable air descended on him. He smiled slightly as he began to climb the steps, only to blink wide in surprise as the door banged open revealing a tanned, blond haired youth. Stocky and broad-shouldered, the other man hummed and rocked on the balls of his feet as he stretched his arms over his head. This was nothing new, to be sure, but the fact that he was nearly naked, dressed in only a tight pair of bikini swim trunks, gave him pause. He gaped, then bared his teeth.

"Naruto, what the hell are you doing?" he asked.

The blond man smiled playfully, looking for all the world like a happy dog who had found a playmate. He practically skipped off the steps and pivoted to swing an arm around his roommate's shoulders, for that was their current situation much as it irked Sasuke.

"Sasuke," Naruto purred huskily, voice scratchy from sleep, hair tousled in permanent spiky strands that fell everywhere on top of his head. "It's the perfect morning for a swim!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes at Naruto but could not keep the light-hearted tone out of his voice, try as he might.

"You say that every morning," he rumbled, shifting to toss the arm off his shoulders. The burn they left was something Sasuke had long ago decided to ignore. They had known each other since grade school, but it was Naruto who had kept the bond enduring, through high school fights and the rift that college had rent, through Sasuke's voracious anger after his parents had been killed and Naruto's depression. They had been through more than most married couples, certainly more than most friends, which was what Naruto loudly proclaimed they were every time anyone dared to insinuate otherwise.

Remarkably, they ha both made though college while serving in the Marine Reserves without ever having been called up. This accounted for both their physics, supple muscle born from hours of training for all kinds of dangerous situations from bombings, to rapid, hellacious gunfire, to orders screamed at them by a man Sasuke swore was mentally imbalanced. His lurid green jumpsuit, definitely not Marine issue, and orange leg warmers just added to his assumption.

Realizing how much his arms were shaking from the weight and awkward positioning of the mail, Sasuke shrugged and stepped carefully into the house while Naruto continued to strech his arms in front of him, crossing each over his chest and rippling the muscles in his back until Sasuke had to force his eyes away. It was true that the current President had lifted the ban on homosexuals joining the military, and had rescinded the inequitable 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' fiasco passed by his predecessor, but that did not mean Sasuke had to reveal anything of what he felt for his roommate. He feared more than anything what Naruto would do if he did. Not violence, no. That Sasuke had been trained to handle ever since his brother had joined the Army ten years ago. Thinking of Itachi cleared his mind a little and Sasuke was once again able to focus on the mail.

After clearing out the pound or so of junk mail and advertisements for local food stores, Sasuke began sifting through the rest to portion out what was his, what was Naruto's, and what belonged to the house. They had moved in together not long after college, mostly because Sasuke had been so worried about Naruto's health. Having lost his parents when he was a baby, he'd partially been raised by foster parents until the pervert had found him. But that man had died when Naruto was fifteen, and he had not taken it well. Sasuke shuddered.

He still did not understand how Naruto could have introduced him to his grandfather in such a way. Sasuke had never actually learned his real name, come to think of it. But it rankled his skin until it felt clammy and cold, the way Naruto behaved and spoke whenever the pervert was mentioned. He had never gained the courage to ask his friend what exactly the nickname was for, whether it was truly the 'normal' type of pervert, whatever that meant, as Naruto claimed, or something else had been going on. Sasuke did know that Naruto had been taken in by a teacher of theirs from grade school. Her knew this because Kakashi, the man in question, had taken Sasuke on board when he was eight, the very week his parents had been murdered. Itachi had been overseas for a stint, in Germany. When he had finally been notified and given hardship leave to return home, Sasuke had already been in the throws of rebellion, fighting anyone and anything he could.

The sound of paper snicking was almost a comfort to his beleaguered as he continued to leisurely peruse the mail, bills, letters from friends and family who had not yet found the joys of e-mail and texting, a postcard from Naruto's friend Ino, which made Sasuke frown. He would not say he was jealous. The fact that Ino and Naruto had dated all through high school did not bother him. Naruto was free to see whomever he wished. Sasuke had never given him the slightest idea of his feelings, after all.

A thick, light yellow envelope with printed writing halted Sasuke from his musings. It was addressed to him and the printed seal at the top corner sucked the breath he had inhaled right out of him. It was true he had joined in order to serve, but he had been quite happy to be left out of a war he had known to be immoral and against every code, from his country's own declarations to that of the Geneva Convention the U.S. had helped create, to the U.N. Charter. Even when the U.S. had asked, and had been denied, for approval by the U.N., Sasuke had not been able to relax. But that all flew from him on a breeze scented with honeysuckle and pine, Naruto's delighted cries and the sounds of water splashing against the bank in the near distance. He did not want to do this.

Slowly, Sasuke slid a thumb under the flap and prized it open, choosing to ignore the faint shake of his fingers as he did so. Maybe it was a response to his appeal for discharge, Sasuke thought desperately.

As he unfolded the single sheet of paper, Sasuke already knew what he would find. Reading through it, he frowned and sighed, wondering how exactly he was going to tell Naruto. His brother would worry too, but he would be able to understand that there was a duty to be performed when joining the military, an outspoken rule that even when you objected on moral grounds, you would still be forced to serve. Naruto had an ideal in his head about military service, one that most of the higher-ups, as he called them, did not always share. To him, war was only necessary when all else had failed, and even then, only to protect your homeland from invasion. The rest was meant for helping out devastated areas of the country, or inside Allied territories.

Closing his eyes, he hummed as he fought with himself over when to reveal it. It was Naruto's birthday today. October was colder this year than the last, but the bright sun had burned off some of the fog from early morning. The ticking of Naruto's coo-coo clock, a large hunk of ornately carved walnut that had come from his mother's family, calmed Sasuke's breathing. He measured them out to the rhythm of the clock until he heard the slap of bare feet on the hard-packed earth of the front walk. Opening his eyes, Sasuke drew in a deep breath and slip the letter back into the envelope, pushing it under the pile of bills. Naruto never looked at those. He preferred to let Sasuke handle everything, handing over his half of the money whenever Sasuke asked for it.

"Yo, Sasuke!" Naruto called as he bounde dinto the kitchen, dripping cold water all over the clean tile floor. He was shivering slightly and their were goosebumps dotting his skin. Sasuke smirked, suddenly inspired.

"Yo, Naruto," he replied calmly. Stalking towards him with heavy footsteps, he reached out with near inhuman speed and tweaked one of Naruto's nipples roughly. Naruto's mouth grew wide and round, just like his perfectly blue eyes.

Naruto gaped, his mouth opening and closing once, twice, then . . .

"What the hell was that for, you bastard!" he almost squeaked. Sasuke laughed throatily, the hidden letter momentarily forgotten.

"It's like a birthday punch, but better," Sasuke commented, as he shrugged his shoulders, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth, arms open wide.

"A what?" Naruto groused, nonplussed, eyes narrowed in suspicion. He knew it was something he was probably in the dark about thanks largely to his stunted upbringing. But Sasuke could not help himself.

"Normally," he explained as he advanced on Naruto again, dancing his way around the table after him, "one receives birthday punches, usually on the arm, to the count of how many years old they are . . ."

Sasuke tuned his voice in such a way as to let Naruto know he was not done, and the look on his face, the utter astonishment as he was backed into the dining cabinet that held all their good plates, was enough to make Sasuke chuckle quietly.

He reached over again, just as silent and quick as before, and tweaked the other nipple. Naruto cried out, a guttural sound that Sasuke committed to memory, just in case the opportunity to hear it again never arose.

"Plus one," he finished as he let loose another laugh, long and loud one this time. Naruto was glaring at him with his bottom lip jutting out and a wounded puppy look in his eyes.

"Come on, birthday boy," Sasuke relented, stepping away from him. "Time to go visit your fans."

"What the hell are you talking about, you candy ass son of a bitch," Naruto accused.

Sasuke sucked on his teeth and bit the inside of his cheek to keep from bursting out laughing again. Naruto had the worst mouth he had ever heard. But it was just too funny when he tried to use it on Sasuke. It did not phase him in the slightest as Naruto stalked over to him and pushed him around to stand flush against the wall, next to the dining cabinet, dishes rattling loudly in protest. The heat from Naruto's skin, Sasuke swore he was some kind of reptile he always ran so hot, pulsed out onto his clothes. Breathing in a musky scent, a touch of Irish Spring from Naruto's late night shower, and mint, Sasuke smiled with his teeth this time.

"I'm taking you to your surprise party, dumbass. Unless you want me to snatch up all your presents and the huge cake Choji's Dad made," he answered.

He thoroughly enjoyed watching Naruto's mouth hang open for the third time that morning. It was so wide he could probably fit his whole fist in. That thought was dangerous though, so Sasuke clamped a tight hold on it until his mind was again the calm it usually maintained. Cuffing Sasuke roughly alongside his head, Naruto grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like 'I wasn't expecting anything'. But Sasuke did not miss the almost jaunt to his walk as his roommate made his way to the stairs, the second level of the cabin holding a sort of loft area that lead into a hallway where the bedrooms and lone bathroom resided. It was not often that so many of them could gather together, but their friends, and what little family they had left, always tried to share each of their birthdays with them, but especially Naruto's.

He had been quite alone as a child, bullied and taunted for his triple scarred cheeks and loud, often clownish behavior. It hadn't done him any good in school either, something he had told Sasuke he regretted once they hit college. Never one to give up, though, Sasuke helped tutor Naruto to excellent grades, and the rest as they say, is history. Finally hearing the shower groan as it kicked in, Sasuke turned around to face the table and sighed. He would not be telling Naruto tonight. But tomorrow he had to report to his commanding officer on base and inform him of the details of his next assignment, if the man hadn't been told already.

There were plans to make, things to pack, new uniforms to buy. All service members had to wear different colors when serving in active war abroad, the normal Marine blue fatigues replaced with black and gray. Sasuke didn't mind, he preferred darker coloring when you might need to resort to hiding in sparse brush for cover. This thought made him shudder again, and bemoan his ever being conned by his brother's exploits. Shaking himself out of his torpor, he jacked himself up from the wall and sauntered up the stairs, wishing he could be spending his last few hours of real freedom and peace enjoying the deluge of hot water Naruto was no doubt experiencing, preferably with him instead of alone. Not for the first time in his life, for as long as Sasuke had known Naruto, he questioned whether or not he had made the right decision all those years ago to return to this town, to Naruto, knowing that his feelings might never be understood let alone reciprocated.

As he made his way sedately toward his room, Sasuke hummed in frustration and pulled at an errant strand of blue-black hair. He would need to call his brother, and that would be best done while Naruto was out of earshot. There was no use in riling him up just before the big celebration. Sasuke would die before he ruined anything for Naruto, even if Naruto hated him for it. Breathing in another calming breath, he stabilized his core muscles and listened to the tinkling of the wind chimes set in his open window as the line on the other end of his cell began to ring.


	3. Chapter 2 A River Runs Through It

Usual warnings apply. And same warnings from previous chapters.

I should probably have put this at the beginning but Y!Gal and were pissing me off because I haven't posted in long time and I am NOT good with tech, really. Fixing something maybe, but software other than Word not so much. Heh heh Anyway, inspiration for this story comes from having watched hours of military homecoming videos like  this one, and the song from BoB and Taylor Swift, Both of Us (normally I hate her music, but between that song and the vids, this idea would, not, leave, me, alone. So here you go.)

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the pic, not the characters, just the words in the story. Happy?

**Chapter 2**

**A River Runs Through It**

"Hello?" Itachi's voice sounded as deep and reassuring as always, even in a greeting. Sasuke felt more clam than with any of his breathing exercises.

"Hey, it's me."

"I know who it is, Sasuke. I have caller ID, I'm sure you are aware," Itachi's voice sounded amused as Sasuke shifted to press his head against the cool glass of his window, drawing his knees up onto the bed with him. He frowned at the comment, then smirked.

"Well, yes, but you are old, big brother. And you haven't had that smart phone of yours for very long. I thought maybe you might need a manual just to answer it," he replied smugly.

This was met with a snort from his brother, who had always seemed to enjoy needling Sasuke. Sasuke had hated it when he was younger and now found he could answer on equal footing now that he had grown older, and wiser to his brother's dry humor.

"Really, Sasuke. I am only seven years older than you, not fifty. And you have yet to tell me why you called."

"Maybe I did and your senility kicked in and you forgot," suggested Sasuke, not willing to let go of the easy banter just yet. What he had to say would not sit well with Itachi despite his brother having served in the military himself.

"Sasuke," Itachi warned, though it never had any bite to it. He had a way of saying his name that to anyone else appeared as though all he wanted was to get his attention, but Sasuke knew him well; he'd been raised by Itachi since he was a child and that did not come without a certain understanding. Taking a deep breath, Sasuke launched into what he had to say with as much dignity as anyone in his rather prestigious family had ever possessed.

"I got a letter in the mail today," he began. Hearing his brother scoff, he hurried to continue before he found himself on the receiving end of more of Itachi's scathing wit.

"From the Secretary of the Navy." He knew that Itachi was well aware, despite being a different branch, who the head of the Marine Corps was, and why he would be sending a letter.

"You've been given new orders." It was not a question. "Where?"

But Sasuke could tell from the change in the timbre of his voice that Itachi already knew.

"You know I'm not allowed to give you an exact location," Sasuke warned. He really didn't know why he was fighting it so much. Maybe if he told his brother, one of the few people who understood not just what it meant, but what it meant for Sasuke, then it would be all too real. Leaving the States, leaving Naruto. God, he had made such a mess of things, hadn't he?

"Sasuke, are you still there?" Itachi asked, louder than before. Sasuke called up a weak smirk but it died before he could find it in himself to retort. Blithely, he sighed and rubbed his forehead on the now warmed glass.

The smooth texture reminded him of the lake he could just see peaking out from a tall stand of pines, just inside the boundary of their property. Something like this would normally be unaffordable to someone with military pay, but Sasuke and Naruto had gone into OTC after college, to augment their pay scale, and money from both their families deaths had helped. It belonged solely to them, no mortgage to have to worry about while being chased by angry men with guns in a godforsaken sand pit. Sasuke sighed.

"You know where, Itachi," he said quietly. "You know what I have to do."

"If you mean that dirt pile between Syria and Iran, forget it," Itachi growled.

Sasuke smiled for real this time

"So, I take it you didn't like it?" Itachi had already been sent over, two tours. No injuries, just as Sasuke had expected. But the emotional toll (there was still something that lurked behind his brother's gaze) had worried him. And he knew that Itachi, having always been a bit . . . protective, would not be any different. In fact, Sasuke feared his big brother's intentions. It was true that Itachi could handle himself in any fight, large or small, but Sasuke had already done enough to hurt him in the past. But he was speaking now, and Sasuke had missed it.

"What?"

"I knew you weren't listening," Itachi admonished. "I asked you if you had told Naruto yet."

Sasuke remained silent, which was answer enough.

"I didn't think so. Are you going to soon? When do you have to ship out?"

And now Sasuke thought he caught the first hint of worry, so deeply hidden perhaps only he would know it was there. He applauded his brother silently for not being up front about it. Itachi really did now him well, how much he would hate being fawned or fretted over. Whether he agreed with the reasons behind being there, he had been ordered to serve and if there was one thing he had learned from Naruto, it was that there were some things in life you had to just do. This was one of them.

"It's his birthday today. I'll wait till tomorrow, or maybe the day after." And now Sasuke was stalling, stalling for time, because there suddenly wasn't enough anymore.

"And when do you have to leave?" Itachi asked again.

"In two weeks," Sasuke replied, and then a heavy silence followed.

"I'll be by later, so save some time for me."

And with that Sasuke breathed out a breath he had no idea he'd been holding in. He knew his brother had flown in for the day from where he was currently stationed in Maryland, for the very celebration Sasuke was supposed to preparing for. But it would definitely help to have his brother nearby.

"We'll go shopping tomorrow morning and then you can relax."

Again Sasuke was grateful. Not having to worry about picking up supplies, the cotton black t-shirts he would need (polyester burned right into the skin instead of burning away) along with everything else he needed he could pick up in a few hours with his brother tagging along, and that would mean he would have most of the day to figure out how to break the news. The rest of his friends would find out from Naruto most likely, he would never be able to keep something this important to himself for very long.

"It starts at two, yes?"

Sasuke nodded, then remembered he was on the phone.

"Yeah. And Itachi . . . " Sasuke found he had to swallow hard before continuing, which only gave Itachi an opening.

"Don't worry about it, little brother. You'll go, do your time, and be back before anyone has the chance to miss you," Itachi assured him, but Sasuke couldn't hear any smugness, just an empty lilt that made him uneasy.

"Okay," was all he could say for the moment. There would be time later to really talk. He knew that. He knew not everyone over there became injured or was killed, that the numbers seemed harshly inflated thanks largely to vast media coverage. He would be fine, but Naruto was the problem. That man was so reckless, Sasuke feared he would try something inanely stupid while he was away.

"I'll see you in a few hours, little brother. Wish Naruto a Happy Birthday for me until I see him."

Sasuke frowned. "He's going to think you're being facetious."

"Well, you can spend the next few hours explaining to him what that means, then can't you?" Itachi replied with a dry laugh. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Uh-huh, and you can field all his friends ridiculous conversations about the latest video game or whatever it is they like to harass him about."

Itachi laughed again and signed off, leaving Sasuke to stare at the phone in his hand until he heard the sound of the water turn off in the bathroom. It had not felt like it had only been a few minutes. Swinging his legs down to the floor, he stood and took a deep, cleansing breath. Stretching his arms over his head, Sasuke shuffled his feet as he made his way to the closet. Having already showered (Naruto hated to rise early unless it was for work), he dressed quickly and turned his thoughts to what he was going to make Naruto for his Birthday breakfast, determined to not throw a pall over the day's festivities, no matter what.

Sasuke found himself in the kitchen, washing dishes as Naruto's high pitched laughter reached him from the living room. He was not happy. There were too many people, more than he thought his roommate had invited. No one ever mentioned the fact that it was supposed to have been a surprise party. But then it happened every year. They would plan and Naruto would weasel it out of someone at some point. The strange and funny thing was, he still maintained the air of someone that had no idea, quite convincingly.

That wasn't what had made Sasuke angry though. He wasn't really sure what had actually. He sighed as he finished off the plates and Kiba stumbled into the kitchen, slightly drunk, just before Naruto and Ino. Naruto's arm was around the shorter, curvy blonde girl, her light blue eyes focused on Naruto's darker ones. Sasuke remembered a time when that fond look had only ever been directed at him and he pouted. Naruto's friendships had grown astronomically since they had both been lonely orphans all those years ago and Sasuke frowned deeper. No. He would not acknowledge this, not now. He shook his head roughly and stepped up to Naruto, smirking.

But fate was a mean bitch. Instead of Sasuke introducing his present, or getting to have that smile, Kiba was planted in front of his face, scowling.

"What?" Sasuke said after Kiba moved to block him again. They had never really been friends. Out of all the people Naruto had gathered to himself like so much static after a storm, Sasuke had never liked Kiba. The others weren't bad. He'd even had some delightful debates on existentialism with Neji and Gaara, but not the brash and loud Kiba who was like a harder, cruder version of Naruto with a lot less of the warmth and humor to offset it.

"You're an ass," Kiba stated simply. He swayed slightly on his feet, already drunk. His eyes slid out of focuis for a moment before his gaze snapped to Sasuke's face and he snickered darkly.

"Okay," Sasuke answered, shrugging. He could not care less what the man thought, only that he was in the way. Tension had built up in the small room, and Sasuke could hear laughter and music as if it was coming from inside a tin can from the living room.

"You're a complete ass," Kiba said again, slurring slightly on the last syllable but making sure to emphasize the middle bit.

Naruto rolled his eyes behind Kiba and began tugging him backwards by the crook of his arm. Kiba wrenched at it violently and stepped to Sasuke so that they almost touched noses. Sasuke could smell vodka and mint.

"What's your problem, Inuzuka?" Sasuke was sure to use Kiba's last name in an effort to hopefully remind him Sasuke and Naruto, being full lieutenants, and not NCOs, outranked him. Maybe that would get rid of the uncomfortable feeling in Sasuke's chest. He did not like how Kiba was staring at him, or how bewildered Naruto looked.

"You," Kiba answered flippantly, snorting. "You're an ass, a complete ass, the worst one I've seen . . ."

He trailed off as Naruto tisked behind him and grabbed his arm again.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You realize who you're talking to, right?" he told Kiba as he pulled harder until Kiba finally had to move back or risk landing on his ass in the small, stuffy space.

"I heard it from my CO," Kiba hollered at Sasuke as he was dragged unceremoniously backward and Ino's eyes flashed up to Sasuke, a hint of fear in them. Sasuke drew in a breath, ready to cut him off if Kiba should start barking something else even more stupid.

But Ino cut him off, and for that Sasuke was grateful.

"Shut up, you dog," she groused. "You're going to ruin Naruto's birthday. And didn't you do that enough times already?"

Sasuke gave her a small, warm smile and Ino winked at him, then jerked her head in Naruto's direction. Sasuke saw that his roommate had been swiveling his head back and forth between them, as if he were watching a ping pong match. Then he looked back at Ino who mouthed 'tell him when you're ready, but soon'. Sasuke nodded. Looking back at Naruto, the man was shaking his head quickly and glancing over at Sasuke with a look that said he had missed something. Sasuke chose to go back to smirking.

"He's just pissed I got you something better," Sasuke supplied, shrugging. Naruto narrowed his eyes, not convinced. From the living room, the music pulsed louder as someone turned the base up, and Kiba was shouting somewhat incoherently over it.

"I never ruined nothing! Naruto wanted to go to that field! How was I supposed to know the farmer had motion-sensor alarms?"

Great peals of raucous laughter overrode him and Naruto shook his head again more slowly, smiling.

He flipped the swinging door to the kitchen open and hollered out to Kiba. "Yeah, but the theft of the pig the next year was your idea. And you don't even have the excuse that you were high, you moron. Shut up and go with Ino. She'll take you home."

And Sasuke knew without seeing it that Naruto was waggling his eyebrows and grinning at Kiba from the outraged squawk he heard. And because he knew Naruto best, or so he had always prided himself in thinking. They had certainly known each other the longest, having met the rest of the crowd throughout middle and high school.

Naruto was laughing good-naturedly as he turned back to Sasuke, letting it peter out before he wiped at the corners of his eyes. Sasuke felt the itch in his chest turn into a full-fledged burn that crept up his throat. He had not anticipated it would be so hard just to open his mouth around him after receiving the letter, or how lying to him, if even for a day, made the feeling infinitely worse.

Itachi's presence at the party, and the fact that he had slipped silently and unobtrusively into the kitchen from the dining room, helped. He turned and gave his brother a look that appeared blank. Itachi nodded and turned heel to walk right back the way he had come. Naruto called after him, never one to miss ribbing or cavorting with his friends, or family of friends, it didn't matter.

"Hey Itachi, you forgot your brother's stick!"

More laughter assaulted them from the living room, Sasuke rolled his eyes and huffed.

"You can have it, Naruto. Call it an extra Birthday gift, to go right along with the bath set I gave you," came Itachi's response.

Everyone present knew that Itachi had given him fox figurines to complete the set on his shelf and a book on military strategy and history. But they exploded in laughter louder than before anyway. Because everyone present also knew of Naruto's introduction to Sasuke, in which Sasuke had called him a useless idiot, and Naruto had growled that Sasuke was an ice princess with a pole up her ass. They had calmed down since then, of course. Actually, they had become friends not too long after, when Sasuke had saved Naruto's life, but that was another story.

Sasuke wondered idly, while watching Naruto rummage in the fridge for another beer, whether the old saying he had been told by his mother was true, that when you saved someone you became their protector and guide for life. Somehow it always felt as if the roles had switched at some point, or maybe many points, he was never sure. But he wished more than anything he could stand in front of Naruto now, as if all his words tonight had barbs, and stainless steel ones at that. He cleared his throat and Naruto looked up at him, eyebrows raising in question.

But the words got stuck somewhere between his stomach and his throat. Naruto raised a blond eyebrow and when Sasuke simply cleared his throat again, he grinned while turning away toward the inging door.

"Really, Sasuke. You're so strange tonight. I'm starting to think you've developed a crush on me. Following me around, fighting with Kiba, and before that glaring at Gaara like he was going to kidnap me or somethin' . . . "

Sasuke frowned, his breath catching in his throat again. His heart was pounding more than it should have been. Sure he knew he was in trouble now, that he should probably not come back to the house after his assignment, that he was treading dangerous seas already, falling in love with his roommate and best friend. But seeing Naruto reach for the door had him indescribably terrified. And he knew he was lost. Without realizing he had moved, he was suddenly behind Naruto, hand flat against the slim, smooth wood of the door.

"Wait," he pleaded. Yes, pleaded, his voice rough and raw. He swallowed. Naruto had frozen at the movement. Completely. Sasuke willed him to stay where he was and Naruto, for once, seemed to understand. But when he began to turn around, Sasuke moved closer until he was nearly touching Naruto from behind with his full body. The heat was indescribable, and indescribably painful. Sasuke wouldn't give it up for the world, not even the chance to see his parents again. That thought gave him courage like nothing else.

"Naruto," he said softly. Breathing against the back of Naruto's neck sent the little blond curls there fluttering erratically in the warm air.

Not wanting to break whatever had caught them, the heavy atmosphere sizzling along his skin as if he, not Naruto, had bathe in lake, and it had been charged with lightning, Sasuke breathed in deeply for a moment.

"Naruto," he said again. Naruto squirmed slightly, which meant he brushed against Sasuke's chest and legs.

"Sasuke," he started uncomfortably. "What's going on? Are you okay?"

Sasuke breathed in again, taking in a scent so rich and complex, all Naruto, and smiled. He wanted, itched, to brush a kiss on the back of his head, to lay his own down on Naruto's firm back, to wrap his arms around him. Instead, he reached into the back of his dark wash jeans, the dark blue sweater he wore riding up a little from the action, and pulled out the slim package he's been keeping there so that no one else would become curious. Or see it when Naruto opened it.

"Happy Birthday," he murmured as he reached around with the arm holding the package and presented it to his friend and would-be, could-be, please God, lover.

Naruto frowned, Ssauke could see it from the edge of his face he caught in the light of the kitchen stove. So far, this birthday had been the same as all the others, or similar in any event. Naruto's hands shook slightly as he took it, or so Sasuke liked to believe. It was better to hope that it was because he was happy and not afraid, but Sasuke had to settle for watching as Naruto slid a kitchen knife he'd found in the drainer along the flap, having shrugged around Sasuke distractedly to get to it.

"What is it? Why didn't you just bring it out when everyone else had theirs?" Naruto asked curiously.

There was an edge to his voice but Sasuke could see he wasn't focused, distracted by the strange way Sasuke had delivered it. Sasuke tried to smile but he was too caught up in the edges of the shiny blue paper coming apart and the bow fluttering to the floor. Naruto turned the slim box around and lifted the lid. Finally comprehending what he was seeing, his mouth suddenly hung open and giving a cry of surprise, Naruto stood stunned before he hugged Sasuke lightly. The hug turned into a grin and even a few tears before Sasuke could manage to breath and relax, satisfied they wouldn't be interrupted. Perhaps Ino had stayed long enough to curtail any of their other friends from intruding.

"How did you find it?" Naruto asked thickly.

Sasuke smiled broadly.

"It wasn't easy," he answered back just as quietly. "The guy refused to give it up, too, until I showed him my sword collection. It was too tantalizing an offer apparently."

Naruto sucked in a wuixck breath but Sasuke squeezed him tighter, his hands also shaking. He wouldn't know just how many times he would be able to have this gift in the future, so it was well worth the price of his family's antique swords.

"Hey, I'm not upset about them. To me, you're worth more."

Another breath, shaky, and Naruto sniffed into his shoulder. His arms tightened around Sasuke.

Worth more indeed. The book Naruto held had been thought lost, and certainly it had gone out of print after the author, Naruto's grandfather, had died. It hadn't been very popular to begin with, although neither Naruto nor Sasuke could understand why. Sasuke had to give it to that pervert that while most of his novels were raunchy and trashy, this one was different. This one was good. The titular character carried Naruto's name, and Naruto's father had plucked it from its pages the day he had himself had read it. The selfless attitude and determination, even the character's naivete, were all reminders of the old man to Naruto at the same time as Sasuke saw why his grandfather had written it that way. If he could force down his jealousy of anything and anyone that divided him from Naruto's attention, he might like the man for it.

As it was, Jiraiya had died unexpectedly and Naruto, having been upset and depressed, had given everything of his away before realizing the one thing he was going to keep, the one thing he could never let go of before that horrible day let alone after, was gone. It had literally taken Sasuke six months to get his hands on what seemed to be the only copy left in the world. Grunting and smirking, Sasuke begrudgingly pulled away when he heard movement, murmuring, and the door closing softly in the other room. Then it was quiet, the music gone as well. The sound of the wind from off the lake and crickets chirruping lazily from the brush were all that met his ears. That and Naruto's heavy breathing.

"Did they know?" he asked quietly. For a moment, Sasuke was confused. For a moment, his heart sped up to a rushing and a ringing in his ears.

"They did, didn't they? That's why they all left without saying good-bye."

"I wouldn't say everyone has gone just yet," came a voice from the other side of the door and both men jumped. Naruto laughed out loud and slapped the wood with the palm of his hand. Trust Itachi to know how to scare the shit out of anyone, or ruin a perfect moment. Sasuke swore he delighted in it even. Laughter met them back and Sasuke heard it recede further before the piercing whine of the sticking hinge on the front door came out.

"I'll be back in a bit, and so will some of the others. It's still before eight, so you know they want more time to spend with you, Naruto. But we all thought you might be a bit of a cheese for a little bit and no one wants to see you commit personality suicide."

Naruto frowned and pulled at his hair. Sticking his tongue out, something Sasuke was always surprised and amused to see, he barked a sudden laugh. Swinging the door open to catch Itachi before he left, Naruto pointed a righteous finger at him.

"You WILL pay for your crimes, heathen!" he shouted at Itachi's back as it disappeared behind the door. An arm came around the edge in a lazy wave, black clad in an impeccably tailored suit Sasuke still had yet to closely inspect. (He was fond of good fabric. A shocker, he knew. But being gay had its perks, even if very few people knew about them.) Sasuke stifled a snort, and relaxed his face from the smirk he knew was coming. Trying to bring back the lost intensity would be impossible but Sasuke would settle for sitting with Naruto to leaf through a few pages and humorously chide the man who had created it. The man who had helped raise Naruto. Just one of the many people from Naruto's weighty past that Sasuke had never gotten a chance to meet, let alone thank. Fabric rustled as and the cream area rug under his feet swished as Sasuke crept out to stand behind Naruto, who had moved into the lving room, grumbling under his breath.

"Boo," he said softly. When Naruto jumped slightly and turned comically slow to stare at him with wide eyes.

Sasuke laughed, all his previous reticence at the day's events, and especially those of tomorrow, suddenly washed away as though the tide had finally come in. Together, they settled easily on the couch, Naruto never one to allow the inferences of stupid-minded people to ever keep him from enjoying a lap, or in this case a shoulder, as Sasuke began to read out parts of his grandfather's work.

Long ago Naruto had secretly told him this was what he would wish for if he could have anything, knowing full well no one could raise the dead. And Sasuke was beyond happy to have a roaring fire in the oversized grated fireplace, reading the book that had been enormous trouble to find to the man he was closest to save his brother, but most of all for the chance to have that familiar weight leaning against him one more time before he had to travel to an uncertain, but certainly dangerous, future.


	4. Chapter 3 Be Calm Be Still, I Will Love

All previous and usual warnings apply. So. Much. Angst. And possibly tears. At least for later. Tissues are very handy for that.

And yes, I am aware Sasuke may seem OOC, but I'm also taking him from the point of the manga before he goes batshit nuts, or even before he runs off, so hopefully not too OOC from that standpoint.

So, half this chapter got accidentally erased. Everything after the asterisks is not what it was originally but I hope it's still good. I tried to remember where I was going, at least, with it. It's still pretty somber, but it's a somber story. Hopefully, Itachi helps lighten things up here and there. Enjoy. Review.

**Chapter 3**

**Be Still, Be Calm, I Will Love You Forever**

Sasuke watched as Naruto slept, having nodded off while Sasuke had been reading. A quiet had settled over the house, comfortable, as if he had wrapped himself in a favorite blanket, worn from constant wear. The body at his side was warm, filled with so much heat. Sasuke slid a hand out gingerly from where it had been trapped between them. Sliding it through Naruto's messy hair, he brought it up to his own fringe.

The sound of the door sliding open caught his attention. Sasuke leaned as far back as he could, still curled against Naruto, until he could see who it was. Itachi was framed in the doorway, moonlight settling around him in a halo of soft light. Sasuke smiled.

"Did he fall asleep already?" Itachi whispered as he crept into the room, shrugging out of his jacket. Thinking it might be a good idea to stretch his cramped legs, Sasuke twisted around as slowly as he could. When his feet hit the floor they tingled unpleasantly in protest. Grimacing, Sasuke stood slowly, swaying on his feet a moment, before he jerked his head upstairs. Itachi nodded and followed.

"I told the others to call it a night." His brother answered the unspoken question that must have shown through his gaze. Sasuke settled it on the window of his room, turning to face it fully as he stretched his arms over his head, relishing in the slight pop of his shoulder blades.

"Thanks," he murmured. Itachi smiled at him, fully, and Sasuke saw how young it made him look.

"No worries. I said I would help, even if it's just to play referee."

Sasuke sighed, stifling a yawn. "Yeah, it's nice to have the quiet back. But you don't have to mother me, I can still take care of myself."

"I know," Itachi answered simply. "But it's different over there."

"Right, but you won't be coming with me, so why do it now?" Sasuke couldn't keep the irritation out of his voice. When Itachi remained silent, he knew he would have to close the gap.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I'm just . . ." It was hard to think, the warm weight of Naruto's body still clung to him and he wanted to go back to it, not be sitting with his brother in his room aching from its absences. Or it could have been the position he' forced himself into on the shorter loveseat they had moved to when the fire had become too hot. Naruto would never let Sasuke make it small, larger than life in everything, even fire in a fireplace.

"Just what?" Itachi pushed. Sasuke pressed his lips together, hesitating.

"I don't know how to tell him." He cursed as his voice cracked and rose near the end. Feeling the quiver start in his whole body, the burn in the back of his eyes, shut tight against the pain, he thanked his brother silently for not laughing at him. Rather, he felt his brother surround him in a loose hug and leaned into them. A scent came up, strong and spicy, new cologne.

"What am I going to do if I fail?" Sasuke couldn't help but voice all his doubts in a rush. Included was the unnecessary admission that failure meant death, leaving all he knew and loved behind to suffer in its wake.

"Oh, you'll be fine, Sasuke." Itachi cuffed him on the ear, Sasuke rubbing at the skin heated from the rough contact.

"How do you know?" he accused, suddenly angry for real. People died all the time, but it easier to have happen when you involved improvised bombs and guns and angry extremists. Wondering if he should point that out, Sasuke found himself studying his brother, who had turned to the small fireplace set in Sasuke's wall, opposite the bed. This house was their dream house, his and Naruto's. It really hadn't mattered to Sasuke that they hadn't bought it as a couple, that they weren't a couple. It didn't. He had bigger issues. It didn't matter. Itachi pulled his hands up to warm so that Sasuke finally saw how pale the fall chill had made them. Striding across the room, he grabbed for them and began rubbing them vigorously. He could feel Itachi's smile.

"I know because you are my little brother, Sasuke. There is no other relationship like ours."

He was right. They had always been close. Even their looks, with Itachi's hair only slightly longer and thinner, caught in a ponytail at the back, coal eyes the same shade and tilted, almond shape, same narrow build with long, tapered fingers, almost all the same. But not exactly. Sasuke dropped the hands he held abruptly. He wanted to hit something. The refinement of his family, ingrained in him since birth, forbade it. It would wait though, skulking in the back of his mind like a wary tiger, deep in shadows.

"You are in love with him," Itachi told him suddenly, very loudly to Sasuke's ears. He couldn't stop the flinch. Once again his throat and eyes burned, and words got stuck, so he settled for a nod. And again, Itachi's arms encircled him only this time he couldn't see for all the strange shapes the fire had twisted into, tears making wet tracks on his skin. He did not know it but Itachi was smiling, sad and small, as he leaned his head against his little brother's shorter one. If either of them had been prone to religion, Sasuke might have dragged them to church, that was how sacred the moment felt.

"Oh, Sasuke. You are a mess, you know that?"

Through his tears, he tried to glare but was unsuccessful. Itachi wouldn't see it anyway. Pressing against his shoulder, Sasuke willed him to stop, the pain was making it hard to breath normally, but Itachi held on calmly, one hand finding its way to his back and rubbing in small, gentle swipes up and down.

"I'm actually more worried about you, big brother," he grunted when he could speak. It almost sounded normal, too.

"Oh? And not about leaving Naruto?" A harsh intake of breath, but not from Sasuke. And not from Itachi. Both men wheeled around to the door, Naruto's form framed in the soft glow of the firelight that seeped upstairs. His face was hidden in shadow, but Sasuke was mesmerizing by the heavy rise and fall of his chest, dread clawing and sliding up his chest.

"You're leaving?" Naruto asked, a note of fear in his voice. "Why?"

"Naruto," Sasuke started. An audible click was heard by all three men when he snapped his mouth shut. Trying on a smile, and glancing at his brother to check that it seemed straight and somewhat convincing, Sasuke shuffled up to Naruto's side and poked him in the ribs.

"Ow! What the hell was that for, you bastard?!" Naruto screeched. Sasuke smirked happily, narrowing his eyes.

"For eavesdropping. I wasn't talking to you."

"Yeah, well if I hadn't been, you'd still be lying to me!" Naruto cried out, a definite note of fear raising the pitch. Sasuke sighed and ruffled his hair, absently reminding himself to buzz it off tomorrow. Trying to avoid anything with Naruto was very hard, almost impossible, he was always around, always . . . there. Taking a risk, something Sasuke tried to keep from doing considering how dangerous his actual job in the military was alone, he grabbed Naruto into a fierce hug. Never one to turn down physical affection before, he was surprised when Naruto shoved him off. The look on his face was wild, fear clouding his clear blue eyes to a darker storm color.

"How long have you known?" Naruto demanded. Sasuke wondered dryly if it had taken all his friend's strength not to hit him. He saw the wounded look, heard the slight tremble as he spoke, and understood what he had done. It made him angry too.

"Do you think I wanted to lie? You think I want to _go_?"

Naruto's head reared back as if he'd been hit, startled. Sasuke cried out in frustration, hearing the sound rise and echo off the high walls.

"I was trying to give you the kind of birthday you've had before. Nothing different. One last good memory until I come back. Was that so bad?"

"What?" Naruto's breathing had changed, more rapid and loud than ever before. His skin had paled and his eyes glazed over slightly. It was beginning to scare Sasuke, and by the look of Itachi who had stepped just a shade closer, him as well.

When Naruto began to back up shakily, his head whipping side to side violently, alarm bells tore through Sasuke, ringing with a numbing force. It took a massive effort for him to break free, mostly at seeing how close Naruto had come to the banister of the large open space leading to the hall. And Sasuke was racing, legs gone numb, catching onto Naruto's hip and waist as he began to fall to the side.  
Itachi was there too, on Naruto's other side, mumbling calming words, to no effect. The look Narutro wore was one of stunned surprise, mouth open in a wide circle before he grabbed for his chest. Fear could not win, so Sasuke pushed it back, fingers shaking as he planted them on either side of his friend's face.

"Naruto . . . hey," trying to make his voice calm and reassuring. "Hey, you're okay. It's alright. I'm not leaving yet. Okay?"

Again Naruto was shaking his head, a grimace replacing the wild look, tears forming at the corners of his eyes, catching in the long, blond lashes.

"You're going . . . over . . . there . . . aren't you?" Naruto bit out through gasps.

"You can't . . .they can't . . . We're supposed to be done with them." The rambling died as he began to hyperventilate again and Sasuke shushed him repeatedly. Words had failed him, dying pitifully in his throat. Itachi gripped one of Naruto's shoulders then, turning him to face him as best he could while Sasuke still had him against his shoulder.

"Naruto, calm down. You need to take deep, slow breaths."

Itachi kept trying but Naruto had gone pale, almost white and the stunned look had returned. He was staring at Sasuke, eyes wide, mouth working to gain air. Sasuke felt sweat trickle down his back and face, or was some of it tears? He no longer cared, too worried that Naruto was having a heart attack.

"Sasuke, back off," Itachi ordered quietly, his deep voice somehow cutting some of the panic away.

Sasuke let go slowly, keeping his hands near just in case. Itachi moved Naruto to better face him and began speaking quietly and slowly.

"Naruto I need you to take a deep breath, just one, and hold it."

Naruto had turned to face him. Nodding numbly, he complied.

"Good, now when I count to ten, let go," Itachi continued, bringing up a hand to count off on his fingers. When he had reached ten, air escaped in a rush, and Itachi ordered him to do it again. It took five administrations of this before Naruto's breathing had calmed down, but he was still pale and shaking. Sasuke looked over at his brother, pleading with him silently to do something, make it better. But he knew that wasn't going to happen.

"Naruto, I'm sorry." The words caught him off guard, spilling out without his realizing it. Sasuke clamped his lips shut.

"Look, he might not even be going for very long. I know as much as you at this point. And really, you're a lot stronger than this, Naruto," Itachi admonished him. Having found the energy to glare at him put Sasuke's mind a little to ease. He blew out a breath.

"Listen, it's only supposed to be seven months. And they haven't told me yet where I'm going. I find out in three days, at the briefing."

This did not seem to satisfy Naruto, who turned the glare on him, on full.

"Will you tell me?" he asked, anger hardening his tone.

"Only if you can promise you're not going to freak out like this again," Sasuke commented. Fear was still riding his stomach, knotting and releasing the muscles in his abdomen frequently.

"Look, I have to go. You of almost all people can understand how that makes me feel. But I signed up for military service, and this is what that can mean. You are at risk for it, too," Sasuke reminded him angrily.

Naruto's eyes narrowed but he seemed to think before opening his mouth this time.

"And if you don't come back? Or you do and you're hurt? What if your legs get blown off? And you joined as a conscientious objector to immoral war, which this is, by the way," Naruto reminded _him. _

Now it was Itachi's turn, apparently, to blow out a breath, eyes and face remaining impassive as usual. But Sasuke could see the worry in the lines if his face deepening around his mouth.

"Well, he could also go to a green zone and build schools for seven months, or injure himself lifting a box of equipment and be home in a day, we don't yet. This is one of those 'wait and see' things, and like it or not, Sasuke did sign on, just as you did. Like it or not, he has to go."

Naruto could not seem to find an adequate retort as he opened hen closed his mouth, once, twice. Sasuke began to relax, though, when Naruto finally took a shuddering breath that appeared to deflate his tense shoulders.

Anger boiled then, and Sasuke whacked the back of Naruto's head. Hard. Naruto hissed, eyes watering, and tried to glare from under the arms that had come up to protect himself from further onslaught.

"Promise, and I won't do it again," Sasuke said, allowing enough anger to color his voice.

Naruto grinned evilly, opening his mouth. Another whack, lightning quick. Whining, the evil grin fled to be replaced with the look Itachi referred to as 'puppy has lost his mom'.

"Sasuke," he pleaded. "You know it's only 'cuz I worry."

Sasuke couldn't fight anymore, he was too tired, and it was getting late.

"Idiot," he murmured as he pulled him into a one armed hug, tight, too tight from the squeak he heard through the folds of his shirt. But the arm around his middle was just as tight, the feel of Naruto's fingers twisting into the fabric something Sasuke had longed for, just under different circumstances. Like with Naruto kissing him, Naruto on his back, eyes hooded in lust, Naruto . . .

Sasuke shook his head, dampening down the rising physical need. It would never happen since he was still pretty sure Naruto claimed to be straight. A dry snicker floated up to their ears and both men turned to glare at Itachi who waved at them with both hands.

Sasuke took the opportunity of Naruto's split focus to plant a feather light kiss on the top of his head. Either Naruto had not caught it, or really did not care, as he always claimed, about showing physical affection in spite of gender. The man was a confusion of dizzying proportions in that regard, subtly chipping away at Sasuke's resolve to keep him at arm's length. Gentle hands, and Sasuke could feel Naruto relax more, sighing, cling less fiercely without letting go. Sasuke was in heaven. Perhaps there was something to thank this whole wretched affair for. Then Naruto drew away and Sasuke was cold.

The brothers watched as he fought for control, sniffling quietly, rubbing at his face and tasking a deep breath. Finally, the first smile they had seen since the party, a genuine one.

"You know what this means now, Sasuke?" he asked, suddenly cheerful. No one commented on the tightening around his eyes that told them all just how much he wasn't yet over his fear. But it was the glint of merriment, the always curious gleam than hinted Naruto knew something no one else ever would, that gave Sasuke forbearance.

"What?' he hedged, not sure he wanted to know. The night had been a rocket, stalled in mid-air only to catch fire again, and Naruto was now the pilot, which to anyone at all should have been terrifying.

Naruto leaned in, voice dropping in a conspiratorial whisper, hand coming up to shield his face as if they were being watched. The movement and demeanor were infectious. Against his better judgement, Ssuke mirrored the movement.

"We get to have another paaartay!" Naruto cried out.

It was with a bang that the front door smashed into the wall, multiple voices calling for Naruto to come down and face them. All his friends had apparently decided the night was young, and Itachi was full of it, so they had returned. Naruto whooped from the floor, fist in the air, rising to go and greet them.

But before he stepped onto the first stair, he turned back to give Sasuke a searching look, his own changing color, deep in something hidden. Sasuke nodded once, even though he barely understood, and rose. By the time they had reached the foot of the stairs, both men were smiling and welcoming guests back with just as much regal attention as when they had first arrived. Well, Sasuke had, Naruto on the other hand was clapping everyone on the back and cheering along with them as they broke out into another round of 'Happy Birthday to You', all off-key since most of them were probably drunk.

Tilting his head up, Sasuke caught his brother's eyes. Itachi lifted an eyebrow and quirked half his mouth in a lopsided smile. With a shooing motion, he waved and righted himself off the railing he'd been leaning on. When Sasuke looked up again, his brother was gone. He didn't mind. The man couldn't have left the house without him knowing, They had that kind of understanding between them.

Cheering got louder, footsteps began to beat out a rhythm to pulsing music that had been turned back on, and Sasuke considered it might be a good time to slip out the back porch, on edge and wired from the events earlier. The sound of the water from the lake called to him, and finally, he went to go take his swim, relishing in the evening air, cool and slightly damp. No one followed. Feeling the dirt under his feet, Sasuke traced the path to the water, and without taking off any of his clothes, dove head first into the deepest part of the oval shaped depression.

The shock of the incredibly cold water cleared Sasuke's head. Everything came into sharp focus. Kicking out, his head broke the water and he gasped out against the frigid air that met him. Treading water, Sasuke turned in slow circles before diving back down until the water crushed his chest. Rising again, he swam around in circles for bit until he was somewhat used to the temperature. The wind had picked up and was pulling the water in little eddies and breakers around him, pushing and tugging as if they had a child's eager fingers.

While there was very little water in Iraq, the climate was vastly different than here in the States. The air was dry, the heat scorching, but at night the mercury dropped so quickly and so steeply that it could feel like fall even at eighty degrees.

Sasuke could not do much more than he already had to prepare for the haze of gunfire, or the bombs, but he could guard against the atmosphere at least a little. God, the bombs. If he could go back and change the job he had signed up for, he would in a heartbeat. Still feeling as though he needed to prove himself, despite his father already being dead for almost eight years, Sasuke had signed on to become an ammunitions expert, learning how to disarm some of the most dangerous explosives. While it had garnered him respect and awe from his male friends, and a veritable stream of crushes from his female ones, he had not thought at the time that he would need to use in such an arena.

It was stupid to think that, knowing his country was still bent on teaching the Iraqis how to fight terrorists. Blowing out a mouthful of water, Sasuke dove once more to as low a depth as he dared considering the water-logged clothes that pulled him in every direction. Once above the surface, he swam over to the shallow side and rose out of the water to walk with sodden shoes toward the bank. They squeaked unpleasantly when he hit the cool, damp sand of the strip of beach in front.

Once he had reached the sliding glass door, Sasuke slipped off his soaked shoes and began to peel the wet clothes from his body, ending in just his dripping boxers. All the lights on the ground floor were out. By feel and the warm glow of the fire, Sasuke slid the door open gently and closed it back up as quietly as he could. He had already made out Itachi's form sitting on the loveseat with some confusion. He had thought his brother would have gone to the hotel by now since he had to return to Maryland by Monday. It was Saturday, or actually, probably early Sunday morning. A rustle of clothes had Sasuke turning toward the sofa, even more confused. Naruto lay there, on his side, one hand curled under his face hiding it from view.

"Hey there, little brother. Feeling a little better after your swim?" Itachi asked, keeping his voice low. Sasuke could not see him very well, his face half hidden in the long shadows drawn out by the dying fire. But he heard the laughter in his tone.

"I thought I already told you once to shut up," Sasuke answered, but without any irritation. He was too tired to play any more games. And truthfully, he did feel a little better.

"He wanted to wait until you got back. He was pretty pissed that you went out with the weather so cold."

Sasuke did not ask how Naruto knew where he had gone. He knew Sasuke's habits about as well as Sasuke knew Naruto's. But the earlier incident had pushed him to a point he could not come back from while so many people were in his home. Glad that they had all finally, really left, Sasuke waved off his brother as he took the stairs two at a time. His body had begun to shiver uncontrollably from the cold water. A hot shower later, and wearing sweatpants without a shirt, and he was more comfortable.

Itachi was still on the loveseat, one leg slung over a knee, looking like a relaxed cat. Sasuke half expected him to begin kneading the soft, brown fabric. But Sasuke turned his focus on Naruto instead of answering Itachi's unspoken question, a comfortable silence enveloping them. Until Itachi coughed lightly.

"What?" Sasuke asked without looking around.

"He's stronger now than he was, Sasuke. You should realize that," he admonished.

Sasuke huffed. "Yeah, so strong he had a panic attack at the mere thought of me leaving."

"It's not as if you were going on vacation, or taking a temporary job out of state. You're going to Iraq, a war zone, with plenty of fighting still going on despite the mass pull out scheduled for this year."

Sasuke frowned. Itachi was right, of course. He was always right. But the fear of watching what he thought was the last few moments of Naruto's life brought unsettling memories to life. Sasuke had almost lost him once already, when they were children bordering on men. That time, Sasuke has been lucky enough to have good reflexes, and had decided he couldn't leave his side. From that moment on, they had been inseparable, even when Sasuke had tried to push him away, rather violently at times. Naruto had stayed by him, perhaps unwisely, but he had stayed. The only person save Itachi who had refused to give up. Sasuke swore he would not begrudge that. And now, more than the fear caused by the panic attack, Sasuke wondered again if he could trust that Itachi and the others would be able to keep Naruto sane while he was gone. Shaking his head, he hesitated in waking him.

Unfortunately, in a fit of artistic balance, or probably insanity, they had created a massive picture window facing east in the great room to soak in the morning light, sans curtains. While it looked magnificent during the day, waking up to the brilliant shine was not something a grouchy Naruto would appreciate. Before Sasuke reached Naruto's side, hand ready to shake him, Itachi's voice stopped him.

"Do you believe it, Sasuke? What I said earlier? That you'll be alright?"

Sasuke tried to figure out if he was being made fun of or not. Closing his eyes, he willed the energy he had regained from his swim back into his tired limbs.

"As long as he's here, I think I can do what I need to."

He heard Itachi grunt and surmised he was satisfied with his answer. Leaning down, Sasuke gently shook at Naruto's shoulder, moving back when he turned onto his back and his eyes slid open slowly.

"Hey," Naruto whispered.

"Hey," Sasuke whispered back. "Time for bed, sleepyhead."

He watched closely as Naruto's eyes came into sharper focus, the dim orange glow in them making them flash mysteriously.

"Yeah, okay," came a weak reply. "You comin'?"

"In a minute. I'll get Itachi settled first."

Naruto turned his head to peer at Itachi, squinting. A small smile played at the corners of his mouth.

"Hey, douchebag. Glad you decided to stay. Your brother was going to find himself a hotel room, on a weekend . . . in Seattle . . . at peak tourist season," he told him without looking away from Itachi.

"Yeah, he's stupid like that. But he can grab the couch, or the guest room, whichever."

Sasuke threw Itachi a scowl, met by laughter, and helped Naruto to his feet. Both stumbling a little, partly from exhaustion, and on Naruto's part the alcohol he'd consumed near the end of the first party. They made their way up the stairs, separating in the hallway.

Their bedrooms faced each other. Naruto had picked them out. In fact, he had told Sasuke the spacious interiors to the main rooms had been the selling point for him. He liked being able to work out in his room rather than downstairs or outside, and kept a large set of weights against the far wall. Sasuke returned to the living room to hand Itachi a blanket and pillows.

"Your choice. Down here or the bedroom at he end of the hall."

"I've slept over before, Sasuke. I know where the guest room is."

"Why can't you just say thank you? Or a simple yes or no, 'this one or 'that one', why do you have to make everything so difficult?"

"Because you make it so fun," Itachi said simply, seeming to enjoy whatever look was on Sasuke's face from the widening grin.

Sasuke resisted the urge to stomp up the stairs as he made one final climb. The last thing he heard before drifting off to sleep under the cozy tent he'd made of the covers was Itachi's rumbling, deep baritone in what sounded like a 'sleep well'. It made Sasuke smile and snuggle in deeper.


	5. Chapter 4 Fake It If You Have To

I forgot to add this in last chapter but during Sasuke's swim, Linkin Park Reanimation mix, Crwling.

This time, when the fighting starts, Linkin Park, Faint, remix and original, or Points of Authority remix.

I love finding music that fits in a chapter. I write to it usually, too.

And a jealous Sasuke! First time for me for lots of things with this story! (Well, a _really_ jealous Sasuke, anyway.)

**Chapter 4**

**Fake It If You Have To**

More than a week had passed; it was all happening too quickly. Sasuke was currently struggling with the strap to his standard issue Marine duffle when he heard a knock at the door. Naruto was standing there, one hand nervously fiddling with the bottom of his shirt, not looking at him.

"What's up?" Sasuke asked quietly. Everything in the last couple of days was done and said with a kind of mournful, careful authority, from the way they approached each other, to the way Naruto never seemed to leave Sasuke's side, as if afraid that the moment he did Sasuke would disappear in a cloud of smoke and be lost forever.

Itachi was sitting on Sasuke's bed, sewing on the patches for his Second Lieutenant rank to the shoulders of his new wartime-issue fatigues.

"Uh, nothing much. Dinner's ready to start on the patio. And my Dad's stopping by."

"Hm? Really? I haven't seen Kakashi in a while. He usually can't make it out of New York until Christmas," Sasuke replied, distracted by the zipper that was now caught in the dark, drab fabric of the bag's opening.

"Mmmm, yeah. He'll be here in a minute."

It wasn't until Itachi nudged his arm and gestured with his chin to Naruto that Sasuke finally looked up. He'd been considering buying a new bag just so he could get the seams to close properly. He still had to sew his name into the inside collars of his long-sleeved button downs.

"So, why is he coming by? Not that I don't want to see him or anything," Sasuke volunteered, to keep the conversation going. Naruto looked as if he would cry, and that gave him pause.

"Hey, we talked about this last night, right? I'll be back before you even miss me."

But Naruto shook his head. Giving him a watery smile, he relented and finally stopped fiddling with his shirt.

"Just a little worried, that's all. And Dad didn't know you were going. He just happened to be in the area for a job offer. Shame on you for that, by the way," Naruto commented, but continued on without a beat, "Since I got stationed here, and it looks as though it's gonna be permanent, he wanted to be close. Or that's what he said anyway. I never really know what he's thinking."

Sasuke watched Naruto frown and shrug, grinning sheepishly. He loved it when Naruto showed him these little gestures. Like when he rubbed the back of his neck nervously, or when he fiddled with something unconsciously, also out of nerves. He should never play poker, a thing Itachi always had fun ribbing him about.

When Kakashi arrived it was with a flurry of bald-faced fibs and gray material, the perpetual mask he liked to wear hiding half his face. His lost eye was covered by a black cloth that wound around his head, silver hair gathered atop his head stiffly with the help of liberal amounts of gel, but a smile for Naruto that Sasuke appreciated. If he was staying for a few days it might make the transition less taxing on all of them. Sasuke still had a lot of respect for the man. Having been willing to take them both, even with having known both their parents, must have been hard. Kakashi had always been what he himself called 'a lone wolf' before that.

"So?" Sasuke asked his friend, catching Kakashi's lone eye once they had made it to the patio, turning about in place. He'd changed into the new fatigues to see how the fit was, and had gone to the hairdresser to buzz cut his hair off. Naruto made a face and stuck out his tongue. Shuffling over, he rubbed a hand over Sasuke's near bald head and grimaced, sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth.

"I hate the hair. It should be a crime to force someone to cut it off when it was that gorgeous," he muttered, a faint blush coloring his face. Sasuke, startled, took a step back. His heart racing so fast it was almost painful, his brother saved, or ruined depending on how you looked at it, the moment with a playful shove to the back of Sasuke's shoulder.

"Hey, start cooking, or I won't do any shopping later," Itachi remarked.

Sasuke turned to stare at him, ready to yell, but was met with that amused look only Itachi could get away with.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever," Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Listen, I already have the new threads, new boots, several canteens, MREs, my k-bar, lighters, spare cartridges, and socks. Lots and lots of socks.. The rest is pretty much toiletries. What, I can't pick up toothbrush and toilet paper on my own?"

"You can, I'm sure, but then I wouldn't be able to laugh at your hair for as long," Kakashi said dully, his one eye remaining drooped in a lazy look. Itachi laughed as he strode away with a wave, mysterious as always. Sasuke knew Kakashi was just trying to lighten the mood, and that Itachi was only going to pick up salad dressing for dinner, and probably toilet paper. He grunted.

But the grill was finally lit. Someone should really teach Naruto the value of lighter fluid, or matches. And it was Sasuke's turn to go to work. He loved grilling actually. Anything inside the house was generally Naruto's domain food-wise. Outside was his forte.

"Shoo!" he barked at the other man as he rounded the small attached tables and reached for a spatula hanging from an attachment above the main grate.

The dinner went by placidly, an occasional humorous rant from Naruto, with Kakashi nodding his head and humming frequently, though Sasuke caught him glancing at him every so often.

Itachi turned up mysteriously, an hour after they had started, with dessert instead of salad dressing. Sasuke glared at him. He wanted vegetables, not cake.

"Save it," Itachi clipped. He seemed irritated and Sasuke wondered what had happened. When he asked, all he got was a noncommittal noise and a wave.

"You have bigger things to worry about than I do. It's nothing. Just an old friend I ran into at the store that kept talking my ear off. It was annoying."

"Really? Who?" Naruto piped in, curiosity brightening the blue in his eyes. Sasuke loved how they appeared to change color with his mood, or the time of day, the weather; it was amazing.

"No one any of you know," Itachi answered blithely.

Now that had Sasuke interested.

"There's a friend of yours I haven't met?"

"Of course I have friends you haven't met. Don't worry about it. He's not really a friend anyway, more like an acquaintance from work."

The evening was getting on, dusky purple and pink shading the sky, long shadows playing out from the bank of pines, the lake darkening to midnight hues much like how Sasuke's hair had been. He ran a hand along his scalp again, missing it already. It felt strange, colder. All too soon it was time to take their entertainment inside.

And in a few days, Sasuke would be taking the plane along with several of his current subordinates to Iraq. He had learned that his appointment time of seven months was contingent upon how many IEDs they managed to find while keeping the insurgents who had rallied away from the new base ten miles southeast of Fallujah. His and Naruto's CO, one Colonel Turner, was a hard-ass but a fair one, and wouldn't keep Sasuke out any longer than was necessary. He smiled at Naruto and his father's antics as Kakashi chased Naruto around the kitchen table wanting to know who Naruto had a crush. He hadn't stopped blushing while having a hushed conversation on the phone.

Wait . . . . what?

Sasuke's head whipped up and he glared. Gripping the beer in his hand tightly before placing it on the table with a loud thud, harder than he had meant to. Suddenly tasting something awful, he excused himself.

"You okay there, hot stuff?" Kakashi quipped mildly before he reached the doorway.

"Dad! Ew!" Naruto exclaimed.

"What? You don't think he's hot? I mean he's not _my_ type seeing as how he's like a son, but that doesn't mean I can't see reality," Kakashi defended himself.

"Ew! Ew! Ew! Stop! That is so wrong. I don't care what you think. Scratch that, what you think should put you in jail most of the time, so you really shouldn't tell me anything. Ever," he replied, incensed. Sasuke was still not happy, but the look on Naruto's face was too adorable. He snickered a short laugh.

"I'm good, just tired. It's been a long two weeks. Well, almost two weeks."

That small admission seemed to suck the life from the room, the very color of the walls seeming to dim to a darker tan than they were.

"Sorry," he mumbled, glancing away from Naruto's face. He couldn't stand to see the hurt flashing in his eyes. All thoughts of rampant jealous monsters ravaging unknown women who vied for his attention vanished.

And just like that, everyone was mumbling good night and heading toward the stairs. There were two beds in the guest room, so Itachi and Kakashi would be bunking together. Naruto wouldn't hear of him taking the couch again. Naruto halted Sasuke in the middle of the living room with a hand clutching his arm, backing up when Sasuke turned to face him. The nervous rustle of his hand on the bottom of his shirt made him look five years old.

"Uh, Sasuke, I just want you to know," he started but seemed to change his mind, trailing off.

"It's okay. I already do, so you don't have to say anything. Look, I'll be e-mailing you. And I might be able to make a SAT call every now and then. I'll let you know when I can. I'll call when I can, and . . ." Sasuke trailed off as well, the charged air too much for him. In two strides he was hugging Naruto to him, never wanting to let go. But Naruto pushed him off, shaking his head. When he finally looked up at Sasuke, a painful smile was glued to hid face.

"Hey, you never know, I may end up seeing you sooner than you think," he tried on a cheerful tone.

"You better not," Sasuke warned. The sideways slant to Naruto's eyes and one of his tells was back, the fingering of the bottom if his shirt. "Naruto . . . "

Naruto shrugged.

"No," Sasuke said with as much force as he could, trying to make it clear what he thought of this, the newest hair-brained scheme of his best friend.

"You are not volunteering. Not now. Not ever. Period."

Naruto frowned, then sighed when he heard Kakashi clear his throat loudly and agree lazily. But Sasuke knew it wasn't out of a lack of love, just Kakashi's easy-gong personality.

"You know, you could get blown up. Shot, eviscerated. At least Sasuke has that speed of his. And sniper training. And explosives expertise," now Kakashi was ticking numbers off on his fingers, "and you have . . ."

But Naruto cut him before he could go on. Mercifully.

"Okay, okay! You know, you're not really helping," Naruto bit out.

"I am if I'm convincing you to stay put. Having one kid over there is enough. I don't want another one going, even if your intentions are good."

Naruto would not meet Kakashi's eyes, the slate gray color having turned steely. He rarely got angry, and there were even fewer times when he became truly serious as far as Sasuke had ever seen. This was one time in which he agreed with him, however. The uncomfortable silence that followed was broken by Itachi. Merciful angel, that's what he was.

"I think it's time to call it a night. Sasuke has a few things left to do tomorrow, namely instructing his subordinates on what to do while he's away. Little devils can't seem to do anything without him." The last part had an air of smug pride although his face never changed.

Sasuke, nodding, was just glad Inuzuka was not among the subordinates of his going over; bot he could curse his CO for filling him and the others in without him. It had almost ruined Naruto's birthday after all.

"You'll call though, right?" Naruto asked, a desperate note to his voice. "I mean, if you can. And write?"

"Yes," Sasuke answered, hardly able to push the word passed the rising burn in his throat. "Every chance I get."

Naruto deflated a little and the tension in the room dropped considerably. He nodded and drew Sasuke into an awkward hug, patting him on the back.

"Take care of yourself. Don't get blown up. Eat good, you know all the stuff _that_ one is supposed to say," he pointed a finger at Kakashi while miming scary faces. Sasuke laughed lightly and followed everyone upstairs. Naruto was still talking about Kakashi's weirdness and Itachi's odd friend that he would not divulge. This Sasuke knew, would be what he would hang onto during his missions. This was his prize.

Sasuke kept his eyes slits as he surveyed the ground beneath them. He and six enlisted men formed a squad comprised of explosives experts and one translator, as required, who also served as a back-up gunner. Swiveling his head around once they had gotten close to the drop point, Sasuke shouted rapid orders at them.

"On my mark, you tug the line, come forward, and drop. Just like in training," he called over the drone of the HC-130P/N cargo plane that flew them.

Once they had flown close the insertion point, the plane leveled and dropped, hovering at just under 35,00 feet. They would have tried a lower altitude but they'd been given word of sporadic gunfire and improvised bomb attacks from thirty cliques south of where they were dropping, which meant they had to up the altitude for safety. If any insurgents had gotten their hands on an RPG, any lower and they'd be taking fire from them. Looking back at his men, all their faces appearing sickly under the lighting of the interior of the plane, he saw a couple of them swallow hard. They were green, all of them. But Sasuke was good at handling new recruits. One of the reasons he'd been given his gold bar so quickly.

"Get ready!" Sasuke shouted. The men rose from the bench seat and began tugging their lines to snap into the rig at the wall. The door slid open as a load master from the Air Force waved then forward. The wind was chaotic, screaming at them like a banshee on meth. Sasuke began the count.

"Three, two, one, mark!" he screamed over the sound of the engines and wind. "Go! Go! Go!"

The men rushed the door one at a time, their lines sliding along the rig and disconnecting as they jumped. One by one they fell, and Sasuke could see their formation and positioning was correct before he too sailed out of the open door in a perfect drop.

The air rushed in around him, his helmet sucked down to his skull, fatigues billowing slightly in the wind. The sheer fall would last twenty thousand feet before they were allowed to open chute. Once down to that altitude, Sasuke pulled the chord and felt the jerk as the chute opened properly, spreading out in a dark colored arc above his head. Looking up and to each side, he checked to make sure that each chute had opened without tangling, and that each man was a safe distance from the other. Now for the landing. There were very few trees to watch for with Halo jumps inside Iraq borders. But the sand could be deceptive. The thud of his boots on shifting earth and he was down. One or two more thuds and all his men had landed safely, without injury.

Instantly the air lit up in a brilliant display of gunfire, spurts and cracks resounding in the night air. They all dropped to the ground and shimmied their way to the shallow dunes, two of his men easing their guns off their packs to return fire. Sasuke could not reach his weapon and began shouting orders to flank the enemy as best they could. Once four of them had sidled to the north and south, he began hearing their AKs go off. The return fire was sporadic though. Sasuke frowned as he felt a bullet cut the air along his his left cheek. Taking a risk, he hollered to one of his remaining me.

"Cover fire!"

Rising to a crouch once the order had been followed, he sped to a dune on his right, near where most of the bullets were coming from. Reaching behind him finally, the dune providing more protection, he unstrapped his weapon, cocked it and swung in out from the side of the dune. Having night vision attachments already set in case of such a situation, Sasuke could see the enemy better than they could see him. Opening fire, first one, then two went down. He could hear the guns of his other men coming up faster, and moving. They had finally managed to squeeze them into a holding pattern.

His two remaining men had flanked him instead of the insurgents, unwilling to leave his side. He did not know if it was fear, or fortitude, but it was working. Three more insurgents hit the sand, clouds of it puffing up and being swallowed by the wind of the plane still hovering above. Gunfire from a fifty caliber air to ground rifle went off and the last two insurgents he could see through the scope fell. Silence descended like a maw splitting the earth.

Sasuke waited, gun ready. When no one came through the cloudy spill, and no more gunfire met them, he raised his head to his weapon, searching with the scope. He instructed his other men to do the same. Calling up the HC-130's pilot he asked if they caught any more in their sights. The answer came back negative and Sasuke gave the order to move forward. Cautiously, more careful than a cat on a high wire, they stepped forward and began the march southeast, to the base. It was only a two mile hike, but it seemed to take a week. Energy on high, adrenaline coursing fluidly through him, Sasuke kept his eyes moving, his feet hitting the sand heavily, and his aching arms steady on his assault rifle. The moment they met the gates of the mobile base, he radioed in for further instructions.

They were escorted in by a low ranking enlisted man and shown to the bunk area, the make-shift canteen and the medical tent in a rush of sound and movement. Apparently, a previous encounter with insurgents a few hours ago had left them with several injured and burned men. They were still having trouble cleaning up enough to pull the whole base down and move it twenty miles east. That was the plan anyway. Sasuke and his men were to serve as sort of guides, searching under the ground they traveled under for bombs with special equipment they had brought along, and if they found them, leading them away whenever possible. When not, it was their job to try to disarm them. He really hated his job.


	6. Chapter 5 Load, Fire, Repeat

Here we go again. Minor character death (as in characters minor to the story, so no worries anybody).

Poor Sasuke. That is all.

**Chapter 5**

**Load, Fire, Load Again**

All of Sasuke's tactical training at Camp Lejeune in North Carolina had prepared him well. Part of the Marines 2nd Special Operations Battalion, he had undergone nearly exhaustive training during four phases over almost two years, culminating in Search Evasion Reconnaissance and Escape (SERE), sniper, and special explosives training, among other things. While he'd had no problems with any of it, it had pushed him into an elite part of the Corps that was used often in Afghanistan and Iraq.

However, this was the first time in eight years that his name had been called up, and his green recruits had only just completed all phases of their training. While he had spent time with them in the States during the two week preparation period before deploying, he felt it wasn't enough; perhaps it would never be enough. Despite including Tactical Combat Casualty Care (TCCC), and language skills training he found that his subordinates were not well versed as of yet in moving injured or foreign personnel while suddenly in a hot zone.

The head of the makeshift base, Lieutenant Colonel Iruka Umino, met with Sasuke in the command ops tent before his team headed out in front, to maintain security and search for the explosives they'd been sent there to find. The structure struck Sasuke as a gesture toward U.S. opulence, larger than all the rest. It said, despite it's lack of accoutrements, 'I've got the bigger stick, so suck it'. But that could just be his growing resentment for the service talking.

It did not help that the Colonel's assistant was his and Naruto's first drill instructor, Captain Gai Mighto. Naruto still spoke of nightmares involving green clad men sporting orange leg warmers and caterpillar eyebrows. Sasuke felt a snicker bubble up in his chest as the very man entered the room, nerves beginning to fray poorly. This was day two of total travel time after the initial landing in a green zone in Afghanistan, and he hadn't had any sleep.

"Uchiha!" Gai rang out far too cheerily as he clapped Sasuke on the back. Sasuke grimaced and tried to make his shoulder as small as possible. As luck would have it, human anatomy frowned upon trying to move bones out of place.

"Captain," Sasuke answered, straightening into a salute as soon as Gai let him go. Gai gave him a blinding smile and a thumbs up, earning snickers from the men at his back. Sasuke hid the smirk on his face under his cap and a bowed head, no longer having long bangs to use in its place. Gai energetically, blinding smile still n place, gave him permission to stand at ease. Sasuke relaxed into the pose that was now as inborn as snapping a salute.

"I received an e-mail from my friend and rival, Hatake, although he chose to leave the service many years ago! He informed me of your impending arrival and asked that I watch out for you!" Gai shouted unnecessarily. Sasuke wondered not for the first time if Gai had been on the receiving end of just one too many close explosions.

"Yes, sir," he replied curtly.

"But it is good to see you! And I am told you were top of your class at Lejeune! As expected!" Gai continued to shout. The snickers that had floated up from behind him suddenly died, as if someone had cut a radio off.

Turning to the Colonel, Sasuke saluted again. "Sir, my team and I are ready to assist any way we can."

"I can see that, Lieutenant," replied Umino, sharp brown eyes, liquid molasses under close-cut chocolate brown hair not missing a thing. A wide scar cut across his nose and Sasuke wondered how he had gotten it. He, too, let Sasuke out of the strict posture quickly.

"What we really need right now is extra hands. Most of the men have begun breaking down all the units. Head over to the Canteen if you need any supplies, though you just got here so I'm sure it won't be necessary. After that, meet back here and assist the medical staff if they need it. Once that's done, head out to the trail facing east and start your march. We'll catch up as soon as we can. Most of the injured are being transported via helicopter but those with light injuries will go by truck with the rest of the camp set-up."

Sasuke nodded and saluted again, turned heel and gestured with his chin for his men to follow. Gai smiled brightly again, far too cheerful for his surroundings. But Sasuke caught the smile slide instantly off his face as he turned a serious look to the Colonel, heads bent in whispered conversation. It was the last sight he ever had of Gai, his head bent forward until his shiny bowl hair cut caught the low light of the single bulb at the top of the tent.

The ground rocked under their feet as an explosion went off nearby. A high-pitched whine rent the air and Sasuke ducked, his arms instinctively covering his head. Another massive explosion and the force literally knocked him back off his feet. When he could get his bearings a little, the air full of dust that choked at his lungs, Sasuke looked up. Something sticky had landed on his shirt and shoulders, his cap. He could smell iron. People were running. But the sight in front of him froze his very being. No longer were Gai and Iruka standing in the middle of the tent. In fact, the tent itself opened into the night sky, confusing Sasuke. Instead of two men, there was only so much blood in a pool, gristle and bone and tissue everywhere else. Including on him.

A violent ringing in his ears trapped out any other sound. Sucking in a breath, he staggered as he tried to lift himself, his vision gone blurry from the intense light of the blast. Wiping at his eyes, he tried to adjust, to compensate. The ringing cut his balance down and he swayed, then fell. Hands grabbed at his shoulders from behind and dragged him backward. Swiping at them, clawing at them, made no difference. The hands tightened their hold and Sasuke heard muffled shouts near his left ear. Turning his head, his blurred vision coalesced into a wavering face, one of his men. He ground down his teeth and managed to help himself to a standing position, still unsteady. Together, they made their way out of the ruined canvas, metal exposed in stunted poles like so much split bone.

There was shouting and running bodies everywhere. More explosions. A hail of gunfire beating rapid tattoos in the dawn light. Sasuke and four out of his six men had found each other. They headed to the Canteen where they'd dropped off their gear. Crouching and running passed the open spaces, they took as much cover as possible.

"L.T.!" He heard the muffled shout from his left and turned, gear on his back, rifle in hand. A lance corporal by the look of him, scared and empty-handed, was standing near the side of the tent.

"Follow!" he shouted and the corporal looked relieved. Far be it for him to have to take on more, but if he could get a gun in the man's hands, he might be of some help. More bodies fell as they passed by them, insurgents ripping the air with weapons fire all around them. Sasuke caught two in the side with bullets and two more went down from fire on his right. It was pandemonium. He could here AKs going off from other areas of the camp and the sound of helicopter blades from above. Apaches. Thank God.

The sound was a welcome boon. Suddenly, there were flood lights from the choppers and more gunfire, from the air this time. The insurgents were beating a retreat as trucks barreled into the compound, more reinforcements. Perfect. Sasuke slowed to a walk, careful to watch every shadow as he took stock of what ammo and supplies they had, who was with him and whom he still had to find.

Still two men short, he concluded after a quick check.

"Briggs, where're Reinier and Cable?" he asked the last man in his right. He watched as the corporal's gaze flitted left and right, down and away. He pointed, his wavering expression dull from shock, and Sasuke looked in the direction of his finger. A man's boots lay in the sand, feet still in them. A black charred form and an impossible amount of red smeared along the ground. Oh.

When he'd advanced close enough, Sasuke caught sight of the last name stenciled into the inside of a boot in white marker. Cable.

"And Reinier?" he asked again. A shrug.

Sasuke sighed, unable to allow the sights and sounds assaulting his poor vision and hearing to register fully. His main priority was his men first, the camp second. With no command, it would be difficult to gain order anyway. Shifting his pack higher on his shoulders, the bite of the straps annoying, he sent his men out to canvas the area. The lance corporal tagged along, seeming to have little else to do. Or maybe it was the fear he could still make out behind his eyes, the tinge of gray in his skin. Sasuke forced down the empathy he could feel curling in his stomach like an ermine. He had to find Reinier first, worry about the aftermath later.

Three hours later and Sasuke was trying to blink the sting from his eyes and still heard ringing. They had found Rainier over a bluff, still scouting the surrounding area for potential threats. One man down, Sasuke had requested that a Sergeant he knew who had been stationed nearby at another temporary base. Gaara Subaku, head full of dark red hair that he kept hidden under his cap continually, met with him as they walked along the southeast trail, hours ahead of the rest of the base pull-down.

His gait was steady, he talked little, and his pale skin reminded Sasuke of the bleached sand under their feet. He was good in the desert, having been raised in eastern Texas, or so Sasuke assumed. Gaara had never said much about his time there, or his family. He'd always been more Naruto's friend than Sasuke's anyway but he was willing to follow orders without comment, unless it was necessary. And by necessary it would be about strategy or defense or safety. What was more, Sasuke could trust him implicitly. And that was something to keep when you could.

Sasuke stopped with a growl, his eyes burning. He slung his pack off and signaled for his men to stop and cover. They responded quickly and he saw six pairs of eyes rove the landscape. For all the sand that should have left everything open, easy to pick out tree from rock from person, the insurgents had lived and fought in this land far longer than the U.S. had. Their heightened experience gave them an advantage and not knowing the language had cowed the Allied forces more. They were heading to a small village five miles into the berms at the base of a bare mountain. There had been a report sent by the British Royal Marines that the caves littering the side of it were hiding more insurgents and they and the Americans had been coordinating a search team along with the new Iraqi recruits in the area.

Sasuke cursed as the cold from the metal in his canteen bit into his palm. He splashed water onto his face, careful to keep his head back. The sting in his eyes lessened a little and he sighed. His short hair dripping and the early dawn light only just now beginning to hit the sand to warm it, he had to bite his lips to keep his teeth from chattering. Despite it being nearly eighty six degrees, it really was cold. The cooling packs in their gear had been taken out but they would need to go back in soon. Gaara had been holding onto them in his bag, not at all bothered by the extra weight or the frozen gel inside them.

Briggs stood to a crouch, eying the foothill they could just see over a rise. Sasuke blinked several times to clear his still hazy vision and wondered if it would be permanent. There had been no time to see any medical staff, and no use really since they were overworked as it was trying to keep the patients they'd had alive, as much as they had been before Sasuke and his team had arrived, before the attack.

So Sasuke gritted his teeth and shouldered his pack again, willing his already aching feet forward. They would be marching another ten hours before they reached the first set of foothills and he just hoped his feet held out. It had been awhile since he'd walked until his feet throbbed with a heat reminiscent of hot coals and there were blisters on top of blisters, but he'd expected it. There were wraps running all the way to half calf and more on his arms. For heat and to keep the muscles from swelling too much. None of them could afford to have a man out of commission or too slow, least of all their leader.

"Briggs!" he commanded sharply. Brigs ghosted to his side in near silence.

"Sir," he replied quietly.

"Get the gear out again. We'll keep sweeping to the south, then work out toward the hills. The trucks aren't swinging around this way for a while but if there are insurgents here, they make try to move on them anyway. They have radio I'm told," Sasuke ordered. A nod, then the swish of cloth on sand.

Suddenly Gaara was on his other side, leaning in close to his more damaged right ear. Sasuke barely heard the murmur. He squinted, as if that would make it louder.

"Uchiha, if we keep this pace up, they won't need bullets, just breath, and we'll be falling over."

Sasuke took a moment to survey the condition of his men. Despite only having touched ground five hours ago, the firefight and little sleep during the earlier travel had taken its toll. High adrenaline was fading to exhaustion. He signaled for the men to sit or crouch and they answered with a relief that nearly sagged. They all looked like rag dolls that had been tossed carelessly on a shelf.

"We'll stop for an hour. Set a perimeter," he told Gaara who nodded. He watched as his men went for their packs, pulling out water or ration bars. None of their equipment had any shine to it and Sasuke had already instructed them, not that they had needed the reprimand, to keep their sunglasses facing to the back so as not to catch the rising sun. The light would have winked off the mirrored plastic and given them away. Packs hit the sand in muffled thumps.

"You should eat," came a voice and Sasuke nearly shuddered his surprise. Gaara was back, holding a nutrition bar out to him. He frowned at it. It was not one of the ration bars the commissary offered for men and women on TDY. He must have brought it from home. Sasuke nodded without thinking and took it. As he chewed, the grain and raisins tasting like cardboard, he thought of the SAT phone he had swiped from the command tent as they had left. He'd not received permission really, because the Commander had been killed, but the chain of command had shifted and the next CO had been a surgeon, a Major.

The man had nodded when he'd seen Sasuke stow it away and told him they would be in touch as soon as they had found an alternate route around the hills. British RMP had already cleared that direction, but the medical teams had advised against taking it because it was slower and involved a steep climb at one point. It would have to do for them for now. Sasuke had contacted HQ in Fellujah and received new orders. The nest of insurgents in the caves took precedence. Especially considering the medical teams and their human cargo would be traveling near the cliff to get to the next camp set-up site. It made Sasuke sneer in disgust. What could be more important than saving those people's lives? Wasn't that what this charade was all about? Why couldn't they all be airlifted out? Instead Sasuke and his men were off to kill people to clear a path.

"How is Naruto?" Gaara asked him in that quiet way of his. Sasuke had almost missed it, so engrossed in his own thoughts. Somewhere in his mind a dim warning bell went off. No more of that. He shrugged tiredly, feeling the soreness in his shoulders already; it centered and focused him on the present surroundings.

"Fine. At home," was all he said. He could be just as clipped in his speech, or so Naruto was always telling him.

He caught Gaara nod slightly out of his peripheral vision.

"Good. He has never been here," Gaara looked around at the wide expanse of beige, undulating like the sea it probably used to be. Sasuke found himself wondering if it had been as pretty as the lake he lived near.

"No," he answered after a while, even though there was no need. Gaara knew Naruto as well as Sasuke did. That knowledge was not a comfort exactly, but he found the kind of silence only Gaara could make oppressive.

He finished the bar, took a few swigs of water and used the rest in the small reusable sports bottle he'd substituted the canteen for to clear his eyes out again. The stinging had lessened considerably and his vision was almost back to normal.

The canteen he stowed back in his pack. He wanted to save what he could in terms of water, The landscape was harsh and no one could predict what could come out of it, almost literally. The hour passed almost leisurely with his men cracking jokes and passing photos, telling stories of what they did at home, their families. Briggs had a kid, a new baby. Sasuke and Gaara both turned their heads to listen.

"So cute! She's got enough hair now to go into these pig tails," Briggs was saying, miming the tails in a humorous way, like antennae.

"So show us pictures already," another of Sasuke's men called out, smiling. Briggs blushed.

Reaching into one of the many pockets on his fatigue pants, he offered a slim picture wallet.

"Hey, she really is cute!" Renier called out, a small smile playing at his serious mouth. Another man whistled as he looked from the picture to Briggs.

"What? You thought I was lying? And don't whistle! She'd three for God's sake!" he groused, cutting his eyes around the circle that they had made.

Sasuke leaned over and snatched the wallet away from Reinier and chuckled.

"She sure doesn't look like you. Did she get those freckles from her mom?"

Reinier bared his teeth.

"Shut the hell up. She's got her mom's looks, but she's all me in personality," he said, a smug look replacing the anger almost as quickly as it had appeared. When he got the picture back finally, Sasuke saw the softening around his eyes. It made him think of all the children he would probably never have. He had wanted them at one time, but thinking he would become career military, he'd pushed it away.

The little girl had seemed so happy to be having her picture taken, all smiles and little teeth, dark blonde curls caught up in pig tails just as Renier had said, freckles dusting her cheeks and nose. She was cute. Sasuke sighed, rubbing at his chest in an unconscious movement.

"Will she be in the base day school soon?" Gaara asked politely. He was talking about the pre-school set onto most bases, schools that actually had good curriculum even if many of the students faces changed as soldiers were moved in and out of the rosters. The other men were laughing good-naturedly at Striker now, another of Sasuke's new subordinates. He'd taken off his helmet to run a hand through his sweaty hair and it was sticking up all over the place. Hard to do with a crew cut, but Naruto had always managed that just fine. Sasuke bit his lips and blew out a breath through his nose, one he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. The hour ran down and he called to them all to form up.

"Alright, alright," he called out. "Enough pussy-footing around."

There were a few snickers. He glared.

"Up, everybody," he called again, a hard edge sliding into his voice easily. It whistled with the force of it. No, wait, that was . . .

"Hit the ground!" Gaara yelled.

The ground rocked for what felt like the hundredth time that day. Christ, not even five hours in and this was the second fight they'd gotten themselves into. Sporadic gunfire pooped at them, but it was from far off. Sasuke and the others had hit dirt from the moment Gaara had begun to yell. What he hadn't expected was for yells, in Farsi, coming in on their right. Too close. Sasuke screamed orders at his men, abandoning all pretense.

"Renier, flank, flank! They're in too close!" Reinier's wide eyes went wild and his head swiveled continuously side to side, a bobble head doll in the flesh. Then it exploded. Sasuke felt the hit before it had registered in his sight-line. Blood and bits of bone, gristle, and the picture Sasuke could not keep out of his head now.

A little girl with dark blonde pigtails, and scars on her cheeks. No, freckles.

Huddled against a copse of brush, a berm protecting him from the worst of the fire. Sasuke gritted his teeth and swung the gun that had apparently transported itself to his hand up, and began firing. The ensuing popping of more gunfire and grumbling of explosions continued, for an eternity. More blood. Screams. More garbled Farsi. When the air had cleared again and Sasuke felt his breath burning in his lungs, he looked down. Reinier had fallen over his legs and feet somehow. His body slumped and resembling the dead weight of a bag of potatoes, not a human. A new father.

He cursed out loud. Gaara caught his attention but only stared at him. Once he regained control of his breathing, at least enough to talk, Sasuke shook himself. His eyes felt like he hadn't blinked in months, sand and grit, and probably Reiniers' blood, making it painful. Shifting to his pack without taking it off, Sasuke felt around in the main flap for the SAT phone.

"Get HQ on the phone," he growled at Gaara. Gaara nodded and took the phone a few yards away, searching for signal. Briggs' face was dead white, and he was gaping. His mouth opened. Closed. Opened. Closed. Sasuke watched it all for a few seconds, mesmerized. Then he took a deep breath.

"Alright," he said to no one in particular. He took a deep, careful breath. "Alright."

He nodded as if someone had spoken. "Okay, let's assess what we've got."

He waved a hand in front of Briggs' face to get his attention. Once he had caught onto the movement, his mouth closed with a snap. His breathing was still irregular but Sasuke noticed the glassy look in his eyes had gone. That was good.

"Briggs I want an ammo count. Jones," he motioned to a tall white man with corn-fed good looks and ruddy skin, silky looking hair.

"I want body count. Dead and injured on both sides. And set up a guard." The last order was for a different man. Each had his job and Sasuke watched as they began to move, as if they were life-sized dolls who had wound down their batteries in the fight and needed the command as a recharge.

"We're going to get this done," he said quietly. Looking to the south he realized that the run between the hillocks and berms was less than before. They had moved a bit too far to east as well, in the push to get the last man down. He nodded.

Gaara waved a hand. "I have HQ. I took the liberty of relaying the incident," he spoke. Sasuke frowned, but left it for now. Gaara was of lower rank and it wasn't his job to take liberties, but it would have to wait.

"This is Lieutenant Sasuke Uchiha, 2nd Special Operations Battalion, to whom am I speaking?" Sasuke kept his voice as polite as possible, to avoid possible backlash from a perceived insult. Disrespect was not tolerated in the Marines.

"Well, hey there, Uchiha. Long time no hear from. What's the problem?" came a familiar voice.

Kakashi, Sasuke thought. And he seethed silently, grinding his teeth together. This was not a good day. If Kakashi had pulled his lazy ass out of retirement, it meant either something had happened to Naruto or he was in more trouble than just a couple of firefights and a few dead subordinates could make. No, this was not a good day for him, at all.


End file.
